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Park Row Fallout

Kick to the Groin in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

July 30, 2019, 2:02 p.m.
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Public

Today started… ugh.

Before I sat down… reports of Domestic Violence where Husband and Wife were mutually beating the shit out of each other.
As I sit down… alert that I may have to cover a trial tomorrow that has long been attached to my boss, but due to Supreme Court recent decisions is in Magistrate Court now. So… I’ll get to do that with no prep and no warning.
As I boot up the computer… I get contacted that parents who shouted at the judge “Fuck you, we’re not coming” are (surprise) being combative. And why? Because Bio-Dad has a long history of explosive, violent Domestic Violence and controlling behavior and despite the sheer number of times Law Enforcement has stepped in; Bio-Mom refuses to leave him because he has so successfully broken her down into a shell of herself now dependent on Methamphetamine and His Control.

So that was the first fifteen minutes of my day… how are y’all?

Last night’s dog training went well. Nala was being a bit stubborn and did not want to sit, go to the correct places, or stay in place. Not terribly surprised because if she and I don’t get quality time after work and go straight to training (as we did last night) she’s a little more confused and unhappy that she did not get to spend “proper time” with Daddy before being ordered around.

Wife intentionally kissed me twice last night. Nothing spectacular… the typical closed mouth, pursed lip, tiny peck that Europeans would call “a friendly greeting.” But… worth noting. Though at the same time… worth noting in proximity and context as well. Maybe she reads my prosebox, maybe she internalized what I told her on Sunday, maybe she just wants to get in some “positive behaviors” before Saturday so that when I mention what I said I’d mention she can believably say, “But I’ve done better this last week!” But that’s the kind of thing to be especially aware of and on guard about. The positive changes that happen right before Counseling are the ones that feel like a “put on” to buy herself some more time. It’s nothing I haven’t said before but the only thing that is going to matter, really matter, is sustained repeated positive steps forward. She can’t “forget” she’s married or “act like” she isn’t a wife 80% of the time and think that is acceptable. And, to be honest, I’m not willing to have a conversation reminding her every week. Maybe that’s akin to throwing a tantrum when someone with Crohn’s Disease interrupts you to use the bathroom… but seriously. The very idea that I would have to specifically tell my wife or demand from my wife something as simple as an “I love you” or a hug or a kiss… I’m not willing to accept that as my status quo anymore. Maybe I’m at fault for letting it be okay for so long; but it has never been okay… just something I allowed with great protestation and requests for change. And sure, AITA maybe for getting married and wanting that to change how she and I interacted? Sure. Yes. I’m the asshole, fine. But I’m not willing to accept the 2020s to be a continued no-love, no-touch marriage. In fact, that’s part of what I said this weekend to Wife. That if she wanted since she’s a great friend, room mate, business partner… if we needed to get divorced, I’d even still be okay with her living in the house and me paying for stuff. Like, literally, I told her that if it is what SHE wanted… we could be like nothing changed (if divorced) but for the fact that the basement would be my apartment, she would be expected to share the kitchen and main bathroom, and I’d be able to date and have sex with other people. BECAUSE THAT’S THE ISSUE. If Wife is just looking for a “free ride” and some “live in emotional support”… sure, fuck it, I volunteer. But I’m absolutely through with not being loved (metaphorically or physically) and that’s at the heart of what’s going on. She can either decide to be a wife that engages in a healthy marriage including “I love you” and connecting with her husband… or she decides that she can’t or won’t.
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Oh, more work stuff. More Domestic Violence and insanity. More immigration versus public good bullshit. And more of me trying to just do my job. I know we’ll never make it go away entirely. But I would love to interview experts in their fields throughout Religion, Psychology, Criminology, and all the other disciplines dealing with humans and really write THE BOOK on what it would take to stamp out domestic violence. Because… seriously. BE AN ADULT. You’re having trouble in your relationship? Use your voice, use your brain, or use your attorney. Fuck, use your feet to just walk away if you need to. I just… of all the crimes, THIS one seems to be the one that should be easiest to eradicate. Drugs are going to happen. And as long as there is poverty and/or wealth gaps… theft and the like is going to happen. Turning in to a violent beast… I can understand. BUT I can’t understand or accept a society, a culture, that throws its hands up and say that the best we can do is what we’re presently doing. I mean… get your shit together Iowa. It isn’t a good thing that we’ve been ranked 49th in Mental Health Care. Iowa Deserves Better.

Actually, on second thought… there is another crime that I would put on here. Sexual Assault. DON’T engage in sexual relations with someone who has not expressly consented. I know we’re all fucking prudes who don’t want to discuss sex; but “Let’s have sex now” and consistent affirmation shouldn’t be too much to ask. Getting your date drunk, removing her clothes, and having sex with her… not cool. And the fact that this is still something we have to teach people is also VERY NOT COOL. I know someone will respond with: what if she gets drunk and takes her own clothes off? K. What’s your point? Is your standard for consent so low as to be “Opportunism is Consent?” Cuz.... douchebag move, bro. Affirmative verbal consent. AND NOT coerced. You can’t call it consent if you spend all night making her feel like shit until she says “fine, we can have sex then, I guess.” I don’t know. It just seems… certain crimes are all about putting YOUR WANTS or EMOTIONS as a higher priority than someone else’s SAFETY. And I don’t get that.
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So… over the weekend in Des Moines, my Sister in Law and niece had pretty bad colds. They warned us about them and, like always, I was all “Who cares? I’m going to hug and hang out with my family!” So of course, today I have a massive sore throat and feel down right ill. BUT tonight is the Weird Al Concert and I’m not missing that! So… tune in tomorrow on my busy busy magistrate day to see if I’m dead!
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Oh, and I know I don’t need to do this… we’re all Lurkers of a sort; but another message out here to say I am reading you but I’m not noting as much. Each day has its own reason but today it is definitely due to the energy drain of feeling sick.

Oh, I suppose as a random I should throw this out there. My wife IS starting School this August, on the 26th. She’s signed up for a Biology with Lab and a Chemistry with Lab course. She’s worried about the Chemistry because of the math. When my Mom heard “because of the math” she was surprised. I laughed. Oh, my parents not seeing my OWN failures. I took a college Chemistry course in High School. I got a D! Because there’s a lot of math there! I mean think of the chemical covalent bonds and the chemistry concepts… like how do you know what you get when you add water to Chlorine Pentaflouride? That’s a math formula! ClF5 + 2 H2O → ClO2F + 4 HF
You don’t just do that in the lab and see what happens; you actually have to do MATH. Mom was super surprised at my response and added some shock that I could remember all of that having gotten a D. And how much debt does this put on us? For those two classes… unless I misheard her… $2,000. That’s… like… 1 month’s house payment. NOT THAT I’M SAYING IT but… $2,000 for 1 semester of college… if Wife really “felt bad” about that, she could work part-time at the McDonald’s for three days a week and pay that back. WHICH IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM MANY IN HER SITUATION. An “almost 40” year old going back to school without a husband and with kids could NEVER do that. So I’m stating that up front and openly. But… we’ll see what happens with Wife and this transition. Remember… new doesn’t seem to go well for her. So we’ll see if the challenge of 1 class every day a half mile from her home is “too much” or “acceptable.”
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Here’s a random statement that may be offensive to some:

Four Things I Plan On Doing By Sunday’s End

(1) Magistrate Matrix for tomorrow
(2) Prepare my Complete August Work Calendar
(3) Orgasm
(4) Get Player 2 Profile to the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve

Number One will be finished here before 4 p.m.
Number Two will be finished here before Thursday at 4 p.m.
Number Three? Gosh. That is going to be a bit harder, honestly. I’m going to need EITHER one of two scenarios. EITHER I’ll need a good hour to myself or about 15 minutes alone. REALLY tends to depend on my mood, level of stimulation, available time, and materials.
Number Four? Also “Gosh.” That may take some doing. If I can dedicate solid amounts of time on Friday and/or Saturday/Sunday… there is a chance.

Runner making his routes a real work of art (25 Photos)
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Foreigners share things from American film and TV that don’t make sense (26 Photos)
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If you think that’s bad, visit Texas in High School Football Season

People who constantly deal with a f*cking Karen at work (16 Photos & GIFs)
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Yoga pants are a great start to the week (31 Photos)
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Old photos in real life are a look into the past (35 Photos)
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I’ve been here!

Entitled people are the f*$%ing worst (32 Photos)
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Crazy and intense fans caught on camera (20 GIFs)
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On-Line Article: Internet Dating the New Norm
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FOLLOWED BY A PICTURE GALLERY WHOSE TITLE PROMISES GREAT THINGS

Put me to bed, you SEXY Scottish RED-head (54 Photos)
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Scottish Chivette with sexy pictures but not as many of them worth sharing as I would like. Honestly, I’m a fan of faces. Good face doesn’t always mean good body; but the body can change over time. The body can be covered up for months on end (Iowa has winters). If it isn’t a face I can look at for hours, than I’m just not as inclined to get excited.
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See what I mean?