Most awesome vows EVER! in 2014

I just found this reading on Offbeat Bride Real Weddings.

I wonder if they would mind someone yoinking it and changing it around a bit?

Mother of the bride: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Brother of the bride: Love is the moment before you're frozen in carbonite, when the girl you've had your eye on finally admits what you always knew. Love is when you say, "I know."
Brother-in-law of the bride: Love can do the impossible, and that makes love mighty.
Sister of the bride: Love tempers sense with sensibility. Love has no pride, and no prejudice.
Brother of the bride: Love knocks out six-foot mountain trolls, stuns Deatheaters, and kills Voldemort.
Brother of the bride: Love is the exchange of a thimble for an acorn. Love never grows old.
Sister-in-law of the bride: Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Sister of the bride: Love knows this secret. It is very simple. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.
Father of the bride: Love always liked a girl with freckles on her nose. Love is a moment of stillness that sometimes a word can shatter to pieces. Or love can be a thing that endures, a rich, deep current flowing unending through the years.
Officiant: Love is a very long story. Love skips no details, remembers every moment, and tells it at length thirty years later. Love says, "I love you" on the first date.
Man of honor: Love survives every karate kick and every new fashion trend. Love is constantly seeking The Rainbow Connection. Love knows that someday you'll find it.
Groomsman: Love falls down hills, fights Rodents of Unusual Size, comes back to life and always says, "As you wish."
Bridesmaid: Love is a single moment, suspended in time. Love is when the world stops for your kiss.
Bridesman: Love never reveals the mystery. There are riots in London when you try to shut down love.
Brother of the bride: Love survives editorial ret-cons.
Brother of the bride: …and the Zombie Apocalypse.
Groomswoman: Love rolls a natural twenty with a vorpal weapon.
Groomsman: For love, the boat was actually Plan C. The church was Plan B and Plan A was marrying her a long, long time ago.
Sister of the bride: Love lies beyond the Wardrobe, inside the painting and through the door to nowhere. Love is an albatross on a dark island. Love rides first into battle and is the last to retreat.
Bridesmaid: Love is the final frontier. Love explores strange new worlds, seeks out new life and new civilizations. Love boldly goes where no one has gone before.
Groomswoman: Love is at the top of The Giza Pyramids when time has stopped… when all you need is a strip of cloth about a foot long.
Mother of the groom: Love appears like lightning out of a clear sky. Love carries you up the mountain. Love will take you there and back again.
Father of the groom: Love is faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's love.
Bridesmaid: We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Best Whoa-man: Love is to be all made of sighs and tears/To be all made of faith and service/It is to be all made of fantasy/All made of passion,
Man of honor: …And all made of wishes/All adoration, duty, and observance/All humbleness, all patience and impatience/All purity, all trial, all obedience.
Best Whoa-man: Just as Brian is for Emma.
Man of honor: And Emma is for Brian.
Officiant: And I for no man!
Groomswoman: Love isn't judgmental. Love is patient. Love is weird, and sometimes gross. Love is illusive. And you've found it. So treasure it. And maybe don't leave it alone with Dot-Com.