The things that scare us in Bittersweet

Perhaps those are the things we should really push for. The things that scare us… They scare us for a reason. But digging deep what is the reason..

So back it all up. Ignore the move idea.
If i stay here. I own this house outright. We just pay taxes. But we live with the inlaw. Shes never leaving despite saying she would.
I Could continue to build my business. I could turn the front acre of my property into a fairy tale garden for photo shoots.
I could possibly start making money.
Could…
I would be stuck in a too tiny cabin for a 7th winter. WIthout any hope of gaining a home of my own.
I would be in a place where winter is 9 months long, relentless and lonely.
I would have occasional visits with friends.
Everything would stay the same.

Moving is scary. This isnt a move 40 miles away. ( my biggest move as an adult was actually 70 but hush, the others were within 20 miles lol)

Starting over is scary, Because its not just over. Its REALLY starting over.
its moving with our bed, tv, computers, a handful of clothes, my spinning supplies, my kids bikes…
its leaving behind the security of this house and the ability to come back. The inlaw is moving her brother, niece and nieces kid into the place when we go.
Its going to stay with my mother in her crowded house. Will be 7 adults 7 kids 5 dogs, 1 cat and some buns. Granted her house is 3K sq ft, up from my 800 haha. But yes its going to be crowded. Its 7 vehicals outside the house. Its sharing space with 6 other adults. Including grouchy old grandpa. MY stepgrandpa. Its dealing with my sisters stepkids who were born addicted to coke. Dealing with my sisters deadbeat husband who refuses to work, support his wife and kids, or spend time with them.
Its looking at a YEAR of starting over. But in someone elses home. Its having to buy new furnature, and pots and pans. Its having to cross my fingers and find friends. Its looking for new shows and saturday markets.
Its building my biz from the ground up, without my hook of my unicorn.
its both the hubby and i searching for work. taking care of our kids and navagating a new state, a new place, seriously its nearly a different country in the states compared to Alaska.

Its leaving the green for desert…
Im scared, and excited and stressed and anxious…

Its saying goodbye to EVERY thing ive known and praying for calmer waters.

Its giving the world EVERY thing you have and leaping.

Its understanding there is a whole new world waiting for you.

Its knowing that life will never be the same. And afraid to even process the feelings.

Its time to leap. Time to fly. Time to hope, Time to let go. Time to do more.