Oh, the Agonist... in Planting Trees

I got a call just before my shift started today. It was from the sleep clinic. They wanted to confirm my upcoming appointment this Monday. Guess they did manage to schedule it… I wonder if they still have me down as 60-70 years older than I am. I want to see the doctor look between his clipboard and me, who is not 100yrs old, in absolute confusion while I grin as if I have no idea what’s going on. Really, though. I am going to let him know what happened with the medicine. He probably has no idea. It’ll be an easy conversation to start. I imagine it’ll go something like this:

“So, when you were seen on April 22nd, we diagnosed you with Restless Leg Syndrome and it looks like we put you on Mirapex, yes? How has that been treating you?”

“Good so far, but I’ve only been taking it for two weeks. LET ME TELL YOU WHY.” *[insert raised eyebrows and sassy hand motion.]

I’m not going to be a jerkhole about it. Not to him. Realistically, he’s not running the front desk and probably has no idea what’s up. I just want to let him know why I only have 2 weeks of data when it should have been 2 months.

I will actually answer the question, too… I seem to be moving less at night, according to my SO. I’ve been drained and exhausted at waking for most of my life, no matter how much I’ve slept, and, so far this week, I’ve been waking, rolling over, going “huh… I’m too spry for this sit around and wait bullshit” and just getting right up. I seem more aware and very much less angry to be alive. I still shake my leg furiously when I’m sitting idle throughout the day, although I might catch myself doing it less.

I’ve also been getting random dizziness and the occasional nausea, but nothing at all like the alcohol reaction. Something I’ve noticed, too, that may not be a bad thing… I have had these little sparks of warmth and joy come over me at the thought of something several times since I’ve started taking it. It’ll be like: “I can’t wait to get home. I’m going to eat [whatever] and play [some video game.]” and suddenly I’m NOTICEABLY overjoyed for a handful of seconds, feeling almost like I’ve taken a hydro and it’s showing signs of kicking in. That example happened today, but it’s happened two times prior, I just can’t remember what I was thinking that triggered it. Oh, I had it happen twice today… The other, I was planning cold weather outfits for myself in my head. I mean, I get a golden boner for winter, but that was a little much for me.

Maybe this is how people with a normal level of dopamine feel happiness? Mirapex is a dopamine agonist, which sounds like it attacks it, but really it encourages and helps regulate it. Dopamine is often called the happiness chemical, but having critically low dopamine doesn’t just cause unhappiness or anhedonia. It causes abnormal brain activity, one version of which is Parkinson’s. My medicine does also treat Parkinson’s, but probably at a much higher dose.

This sounds like a great thing, but I have it under the microscope, because most of the side effects from this medicine involve going into manic swings, suddenly feeling the urge to gamble, aggressive reward seeking, etc. etc. I mean, at least it isn’t suicide and death like most drug commercials.

Anyway.

Remember how I gutted out the paint counter’s contents and reorganized it? I opened it up today to get the paint maker’s manual out for some reading, and I found something new stashed between two of the binders:

Maybe it was some overnight associate reading between breaks. I like to think it was my manager, though, lmao. Golden on the outside, but deep down a dirty old man.