Maybe we can wait in A new start

I have been wanting out of this house since a year after we moved in. Didn’t see it happening, not any time soon. Finally this year we talked to a lender. She told us come October we could get a loan. I was excited. Four months until we could be financed. We had a lot of work to do in that time. Well it’s been a month and a half and nothing has gotten done. Nothing but me stressing about money. To help with it I got a job but only lasted a day. I still wait for child support. It has been nearly 3 months since I got anything. Hopefully it comes again soon. But I guess if it doesn’t start back up I will get a job when the kids go to school. I will apply at the cannery. I will apply for seasonal work. Help to pay for everything. Then we can get our preapproval and keep looking for houses. Maybe something closer will pop up. I mean we could wait until March. We would have tax return money to help us then. Gives us more time to work on the house. I mean if we can sell it and move before then good but if not whatever. I guess I’m not feeling decisive.

My mom and I were talking earlier and that didn’t help anything. We were talking about a pot luck. I hate pot lucks. I mean I prefer to spend my money on food for my family not for a whole group. But whatever. I made a comment about the monetary factor. I said that we are probably the only family that the money is so tight. Yes part of it is I’m not working most of it is because no child support. Mom agreed we are probably the only family. She thinks I should have never left my job. I left my job of 13 years to spend time with my kids that I spent less time with than the babysitter. Then I worked a job for ten months because we needed me to. I left that job because I was used to rush rush rush production work and that job wasn’t that. That job was being a caregiver and I guess that just isn’t my thing. I have proved that I can get a job if I need one. But even if I was working and had more money coming in I still hate pot lucks. Especially if we are going with my mom who is going to provide something anyway. When I have events they are not pot luck. I have to provide all the food. So yeah. I guess I could just not go. Stay home with my love on the first weekend he has off in a month, after he worked 12 days straight. Maybe I will.

I guess I’m frustrated today. Frustrated with my mom. Frustrated that they chose a pot luck. Frustrated that we haven’t gotten anything done. Frustrated that I haven’t gotten child support in 3 months (I’ll call and check on that next week).