Is the friendship done? in Torridaussity Two
- March 1, 2014, 2:47 a.m.
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- Public
So those of you reading lately know of the situation where my friend did something stupid that crossed the line of friendship and I wasn't all that bothered by it cause I've liked him and hoped maybe he was testing the waters and things were off with us a few days and then he said he was sorry he was drunk.
Before he did that I had planned on writing him a nice letter telling him how he was such a good friend and that I'll always be there for him especially while he is deployed and some other nice things, but never being more than a friend in the letter. I also sent him the pictures he had asked for awhile back. The packaged was delivered a week ago and he has said not one word about it and as I have written I am crushed that he didn't even acknowledge that he received it.
I thought our friendship was more solid than that. I get hurt easily and I care too much and I love people too much. I have already forgiven him especially as he doesn't even know he hurt me because I can't stand awkward situations so I won't tell him he did. Well I didn't know if I could reach out to him because of feeling to hurt, but with him deploying I don't want things to be unsettled at least on my part unsettled.
The other day I had a dream that he wrote me a letter about his deployment and so I thought I can use that as a way to reach out with out mentioning the package directly. I wrote to him and said how random I had a dream last night that you mailed me a letter and I don't think in real life I've ever even gotten an email from you lol and he has said nothing and I know he got the message. So tonight I decided I would write again and I said well I think you should have received your mail by now and hopefully you liked the surprise and if not sorry for getting your hopes up. You see he knew I was mailing something, but I wouldn't tell him what and he was all excited by it. I am not sorry I sent him an honest letter about how important he is because of my challenge I am doing to be more connected and honest to people as if I only had 30 days to live and I needed to write that letter. If that is what made him mad or if he is just being an ass, then I am not sure I can be friends with him as my perception was so off of him and I just can't have negative people in my life.
This whole situation is making me sick inside and I am crying left and right. I care about people all the time more than they care about me and it tears me apart. I can't do it right now, I am losing the battle to be happy. I am hoping he at least writes me back but if he doesn't then I guess I don't' have to end things I would take that as a sign as to how important I was to him as a friend.
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