At The Corner in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

This entry is written at the corner of Intoxicated and Enlightened. Traditionally, I do an EXCELLENT job of not writing when I may not remember what I wrote. It has happened. It even happened recently (for evidence, check the last entry that has zero notes). But ultimately… I tend not to write when intoxicated.

This is an exception but for good reason. When I last left off, I was discussing Wife’s continuing..... being herself. After that? I did some work, our hosts cleaned up, Wife played even more cell phone games (seriously, wtf on Solitaire) and then I decided.... I want to see the ocean.

Cousin’s wife took me out. Wife was (direct quote) too scared (end quote) to come out but… seriously?! The water was warmer than ANY pool or bath water and teeming with life! I saw coral, anemones, schools of fish. And then? I was swimming… and thought.... how did Cousin’s Wife get on my right side so fast? But it wasn’t cousin’s wife!!! It was a sea turtle!! Just…hanging out with me!! When he realized we weren’t going in the same direction, he split off and swam to the sea floor. And I just floated there. Watching him. It was amazing!

Of course… Wife wouldn’t have any of it. She stayed in the room playing Cell Phone Games until she decided to come outside to take pictures. And I was thinking “Of course!” See… I far prefer The Real Thing to TV Shows about it. I’d rather see with my own eyes, be rewarded for my own effort, take the risks that lead to rewards. Wife prefers the TV Shows. See, that way you get “better views, up close exposure, and you’re not risking your life or your safety.” I’m still hoping I can convince her to come out, though. I mean… yeah… David Attenburough can do a great narration over a closeup film of sea turtles being cleaned by fish. But by swimming out only about 100 yards to the North? You can see that for yourself!! In real life! Why wouldn’t you want to do that?!

Then we came in and had some food, played a yard game or two; and Cousin’s neighbor came over. She’s a South African White Woman that looks really very good! And she was thrilled to meet Wife (she met me already) and was quick to tell Wife how gorgeous her eyes are. They are. Wish she’d see some damned good and/or value and/or beauty in herself. And Wife was enamored of the woman. Kind, full of exotic experiences, gorgeous, and Wife could NOT get enough of that accent!! lol.

We all got… a little too drunk, lol, and came inside to sleep. I woke up at about 4 a.m. local time (9 a.m. Iowa time) and realized my legs were sore as hell from all the Fin Kicking during snorkeling. I tried to get cozy with wife. She was sleeping on the edge of the bed (so far away from me) with her back turned to me (as is fairly common). So I slid up behind her to be big spoon. It was nice for a while. But the longer I stayed there, the more I could feel the crushing weight of reality about the situation. She’s unconscious. That’s the only reason why this cuddle is being allowed. And she could wake up and see your erection and ignore it (as she always does) and ask you “for a little space on the bed, thanks?!” as she often does. So… I’d go back to my side. Get a little more sleep.

I’m not expecting this vacation to save or even to change my marriage. But honestly? She doesn’t have anything to worry about out here. No laundry, no dishes, no dog training… I mean, she isn’t burdened with an overabundance of chores back home… but here there is nothing but to relax and enjoy yourself. I was hoping that would help her embrace… well, me. I was hoping it would make “I love you” come easier and hugs become more spontaneous and… yes… some sex. Certainly gives me a lot to think about and consider.