June 13, 2019-- Trying to do things outside my laptop today in Productivity Diary

Dear Friend,

I just don’t know how I can adjust my needs/ be flexible. I really want someone who is insightful and whom I can learn from. I found a lot of that in you.

I just miss you and I regret losing you. You were such a treasure trove of wisdom about relationships– exactly my weakest point. I wanted to just talk to you about everything under the sun, but you were a listener, not a friend. You took days and sometimes weeks to get back to me, but all the time that passed was worth it.

For me, it’s about how much you actually cared to try to relate to me, and how much wisdom you had. What insights I had from you, I hardly ever heard from any other source. That makes me scared of getting the “wrong” idea into my head. Hence, I don’t want listeners who give me wrong “advice” (very often your own point of view comes out even in the questions or the reframing you make) because they themselves are still figuring it out. I want someone mature, wise, having a great attitude toward life, very balance. I want such a person to listen to my story and inspire me with his thoughts.

For me, it’s you. You were a wonderful person whom I would very much like to imitate. The fact that you were both a listener and someone I truly admired sealed the deal. If you were just a listener, then I wouldn’t care to talk for very long to you. If you were just someone I truly admired and not a listener, well, it would be like interacting with any great figure in real life. Sure you learn things but it’s not personal. Imagine if, I don’t know, Martin Luther King listened to YOUR story and telling you what he thought about YOUR PROBLEMS and what he would do IF HE WERE YOU. That was the experience I got from you.

Love,
Your fangirl.

Last updated September 21, 2019