Unpacking Emotions in Life

Y’know, there’s a lot to talk about when it comes to the migration but I feel like it’s been talked to death so there’s only one last thing that I really wanna break down here. While I listen to Banjo music (The Dead South) and my typing speed increases to keep track with the banjo.

A lot of people seem to like my writing style and I’ve always been a fan of typing because to me the series of the keys being hit in time always reminds me of music and I’m not good at music but I feel like I’m good at typing, it’s a straight from brain to fingers to page without much left in the negative space between, a skill that I have yet to master on any other ‘art’ form that requires my fingers. (There’s a joke to be made there…)

Anyway!~

One thing I found really interesting about the re-vitalization (Note, not the migration!) is that there were so many of us, really most of us, who had a similar story. Let me know if this sounds familiar;

“Oh man I started writing when I was 13 and I think about going back to read my old entries and it just makes me want to cringe.”

“Eventually I stopped writing because I just didn’t feel the need to write anymore”

Granted I don’t think there’s many people who don’t cringe at their 13 year old selves unless they’re only 14. But what I really want to focus on is why we stopped writing and how I think that’s… not a lie… but maybe a fabrication. I think we got too busy, sure, that happens, and writing was the first thing to slip away so we told ourselves that we didn’t need it anymore but let me tell you.

Being ‘back’ feels fucking great.

I’m not sure if we’re all just at that next stage of chaos and travel where we really need to have this outlet again and I’m not so naive to think that we won’t lose people eventually to the currents of life but the next time you tell yourself “you don’t really need to write” sit down and really think about that.

Having access to PB, and the freaking insanely supportive community (Seriously, I love y’all) my issues with Pam would have become much more than they were because I had this outlet. And on top of that, as I’ve made peace with a lot of my past, there are still parts that I haven’t and I invite people to open that can of worms and look back. Maybe there’s something you think you’ve settled or maybe you just need to spew once more about it now that you’re ‘revitalized’ when it comes to writing. Y’know, write that final chapter.

Now I’m not saying to unlock the trunk of trauma’s here but too often we let things scab over and we call it healed but really we just keep picking at that scab without letting it fall off fully (Sorry for the gross analogy!)

I really noticed this when I wrote out my coles-notes life story there and I was like “Oh yea, that… man I really gotta expand on that” and there was so much that I glossed over or straight up skipped just because when I look back, some of those people that I thought were important really weren’t. But it seemed like such a big deal when I was living it. And that leaves me wanting to go back and y’know, get out the projector and re-watch the extended cut with added commentary. (I’m real proud of that Analogy though)

I also kinda also love reading everyone’s entries and really digging into their minds and stories, so I’m sorry if I get too personal in comments, I just really enjoy interviewing people about what’s effected/ing them. Affected? Affected.

Now I just don’t know!

Mood: Insomniatic 👀
Listening To: Evelyn, Evelyn🎶 (Seriously, check this song out)