depression. cats. mental disorders. my sister. drug addiction. intense people. in 2019

People are like “you should get a cat you love cats!”. yeah no that is a terrible idea for someone like me. yeah i also have depression so. no. i appreciate the thought but if i can’t even be responsible when looking after a plant then. [no actually that’s cause i never have the
blinds open. but it’s kindof the same thing.]. yeah no pets for me. but i like animals. like yall don’t understand. which is fine. hard, but fine. wait that. sounded like something else. yes. um. long as people aren’t jerks about it ya know? cause that would be worse. when people
want to help but they’re. actually not helping. pretty much. no maybe you should get a cat. [and some people do. have pets.].

yeah idinno though. cause in my head. there’s not room for. intense people nor will i make rm. cause it’s. well it takes up space and. um. .........oh wait i just figured this out. on my end the mildness of my sister doing drugs didn’t. take up space. in my head. i somehow
thought there’d be more. so i guess i miss. the room in a sense. not like an actual physical room. she stopped and. the room disappeared. it can re-appear but that exceeds my limits. space i guess is a better word.
The space disappeared. it’s not a matter of it being empty or full it’s that it isn’t, anymore. the. permanence the. finality. i’ve been here before. i’m not sure i like this place at the moment. loss. is the perfect word for it. oh. i get it.

the space disappeared.

People might be ‘why don’t you get a cat?’. um. cause i have depression. who needs pets when you have your own mental disorders for company am i right? it’s not. the same kindof company but yeah it’s there.

pretty sure my mental disorders unlike pets aren’t goin away so. actually. i kindof like that.

Last updated May 07, 2020