good Pride. white tears. inclusion. not a revenge thing. homophobia. mindsets that don't work. deer. in 2018

i think that wishing someone a good birthday or holiday or w/e should become a thing. as well as a happy one. it’s a little unconventional but. ok. so yeah i’ma start that. Good Pride. and happy Pride.

white tears. matthew shepherd.

so i think. [a lot no um.]. that regardless of sexuality. more people should start asking others ‘so. are you seeing anyone?’ whether they’re lookin for a date or not. cause it’s more inclusive.

‘so tell me. why did you decide to become bisexual?’. um. a sexuality isn’t a choice. and 2. this isn’t a revenge thing. like no. no a revenge thing implies choice which, as i’ve said.

btw. i wasn’t there. and i know that. not that there any fitting words exactly cause there. there aren’t. but i want to extend. my sympathy & compassion to the parents of Matthew Shepherd. and those that knew him. and liked him. same w/ Brandon Teena. and those who knew anyone. or knew of. anyone. targeted during. the pink star thing. or, the stonewall riots. or anyone who has ever. ever been bashed in some way due to their sexuality. ever. i. please take my words, thoughts, sympathy & compassion. thank you.

so. my uncle’s wife is jewish. i, obviously, have no problem w/ that. or w/ anyone based on their, race, religion, sexuality, culture w/e. yeah here’s the thing: this same uncle. is the one who’s also homophobic. ok well both the jewish people and the LGBTQ comm. both groups were targeted during the Holocaust. i know it’s about how people were raised. but that. mindset. doesn’t work.

you know how in the alcoholic thing? ‘the alcoholic thin’g that’s helpful isn’t it? oh yeah so helpful no the um. serenity prayer one of the lines goes ‘accept the things i cannot change?’. no i will not accept homophobia that will never be ok. i can’t change it but i’m not going

accept it. either. well it depends on the situation.

Matthew Shepherd had this. soft, deerlike quality to him. he like me wanted to change the world. he wanted. equality. oh............of all the people.........
the tears were the only thing that could clean his blood. that’s..............wow. legend has it. the last thing he saw was a deer.

so. back in the ‘30’s and ‘40’s. um bars in new york. would refuse to serve. those in the LGBTQ comm. ya know what’s kindof funny about that? i’m an alcoholic. and i’m bisexual. that’s not why. i’m an........but yeah.

ok so. the first Pride parade in new york was in 1970. [yes. we know.]. no um. it was june 28th. yes. that’s right. a yr. after......

freddie mercury. frida kahlo. elton john. david bowie. julie andrews. adele. andy warhol. cyndi lauper. adam lambert. james dean. jane lynch. ellen. daniel radcliffe. matthew morrison. lady gaga. dan savage. notice anything? well besides the obvious. no these people are either
members. of the LGBTQ+ comm. or. they’re proLGBTQ. or both some people are both. and feel free to add your own. i’d go on but then it might be a little sad so.

so i have this idea for an art project. laying down. [well that’s ridiclously simple.]. no i know wow what a concept. no i mean. in honor of the AIDS epidemic. cause so many people have died from AIDS. and then doing the police line thing. ok i’ve forgotten what it’s actually
called........but it’s when. chalk outline that’s the word. or w/e. around my body.

also. sure of course police have the right to enforce the law. it is their job after all. but to make. being who someone is and actually can’t change. illegal like i don’t know, homosexuality
in 1969. it’s. that’s a weird concept. to me. like um. we can’t change that. same as a person of color can’t change that either. also i don’t know a whole lot about police brutality. other then it’s wrong and it shouldn’t happen. [you realise homosexuality isn’t illegal anymore
in new york. right? yeah no i know.].

oh fuk. the woman i live w/ is a homophobic person. which. well i’ve known for awhile. but i didn’t really think of it in those terms untill like. today. - yesterday - we don’t talk about my sexuality or sexuality in general. yes and that’s why. for a reason. yeah pretty sure she’s homophobic.
here’s what’s so interesting about that though: 1. she. is a person of color. [well. actually she’s of african american descent as that term also applies to latin americans] 2. she is a quarter native american and 3. well the obvious. she’s a woman. um.......so. um. those are all groups that again. have been discriminated against. and yet i’m pretty sure she’s homophobic. yeah like i said. that mindset doesn’t work v. well. her mother is i think half german. and she apparently. greatly dislikes white people. the mom i mean. yeah ok i get it. [‘no you don’t you’re white’. well i mean no not from that standpoint. let me remind people that: 1. i’m of irish descent 2. i’m a woman and 3. i’m bisexual. no i mean. i understand the general concept of it.]. i’m just pointing out the fact. that. it’s interesting. is all.

so in amsterdam. the um. people there are primarily white. they are also. incredibly accepting. of LGBTQ+ people. i love the dutch the dutch are great. i’ll just move there! [no actually not really. i mean like hypothetically.]. no but that’s a reason why i love it. so much. so my point being. that um. where someone comes from doesn’t always have to do w/. how accepting they are. obviously. [ok that was kindof obvious now that i think about it.]. it has to do w/ how they were raised.

i wish people came w/ warning labels ya know? i.e. ‘i’m a nice, cool person but i’m. homophobic’ [i mean i’m not. homophobic obviously. i’m a lot of things but that isn’t one of them. and thank god.]. so that it’s not confusing.

so. i’m not sure of all the facts but it seems like. only same-sex prostitution was illegal in the 1960’s in new york. oh ok i see how it is. right well......people don’t hire um. people who are criminals. and at the time being homosexual. also. was illegal. um. so how the fuk else was a LGBTQ person to make money? again not sure of all the facts. and btw. i just looked it up and. police brutality is also. illegal not sure when it became, illegal or like. if it always had been......well of course the patrons were angry! police brutality um. happened during. the riots in 1969. i wasn’t even there and i’m angry about it. the protests and violent clashes lasted 6 days. so from june 28th - july 3rd.

so in 1969. [you’re tired of me going on about this? well i’m tired of there being attacks against LGBTQ+ people. only mine is actually a real problem. so ya know what?............ok i’ll stop.]. um anyway. yes in 1969. in new york it was against. some kindof code. and no don’t tell me. for women to wear. pants cause they. went against her gender. yeah well kate hepburn in the 1940’s was one of the first women to wear pants. in the ‘30’s it was a crime. no. an actual crime. in the ‘60’s it was as well. in new york. maybe she. trendsetted that i don’t know. #katehepburn oh wait that’s what it was. an anti-cross-dressing law. ok. so........bc i’m a woman and i wear pants does that make me in some vague, indirect sense a crossdresser? believe it or not they’re actually comfortable esp. pajama pants. and if so that’s um. hm.
that’s interesting i’m not offended it’s just kindof interesting. um. hm..........

end. homophobia.

stonewall. detroit. florida. london. wyoming. nebraska. san francisco. georgia. notice anything? they all have to do w/ LGBTQ+.

huh. so i did not know. that there are LGBTQ people who are Mormon. seems like their religion is against that kindof thing.........but maybe not all of it? this is me standing corrected.

so the ‘straight pride parade’ is to take place aug. 31st. maybe. that’s funny cause that’s not even Pride month! either way no yeah i can’t get behind that.

‘gays are everywhere’ wow 1962 newspaper article good job stating the obvious. and for being against. us. um no. anyone against newspapers...........anyone.........? or nature? i’ll wait. ............yes. exactly. no most people are ok w/ nature. annnd. i rest my case. proLGBTQ

take ownership of Pride month. cause yes. this is our month and has been since 1970. our. month. for. us. take that back. take back the nights days moments. yes bc it’s ours. it belongs. to us. [well in a sense.].

so i want to do this thing. in honor of matthew shepherd. i want to get face paint. red and then white tears in the middle. gruesome. horrifying. sad. that’s the point. cause i’m an artist lady.

Last updated June 11, 2019