Shaken and Numb in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

I'm struggling to find the words to write this entry...where to begin? I've been going through a series of medical tests the past few weeks, initially I was looking in good health. Great cholesterol, triglycerides, all the regular blood tests. I had this ongoing and worsening issue that turned up a low blood sugar problem, yet it couldn't be explained. A couple of my liver enzymes came back slightly low and for years I have been happy to have them be even normal but the doctor thought perhaps a deeper look was called for, so last Monday I gave up more blood at the lab. Friday while I was away on the retreat the doctor called, said we need to talk.

Yesterday I called for an appointment and today I was in her office going over the lab results. No time wasted, something I deeply appreciate about the doctor. Indeed my liver showed issues. How do I say this? Twenty-some years ago I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C but was not a candidate for treatment at the time. Doctors suggested I be monitored and if the illness progressed then look at treatment. Over the years my condition improved and the virus became dormant. Eventually I was told the bi-annual biopsies and frequent blood draws were no longer necessary so I stopped. That was about eight years ago.

Today the lab reports showed the virus has returned and made up for lost time. There isn't much to say, the bottom line the doctor was kind, yet gentle enough to not sugar coat the truth. As soon as possible I begin treatment with Interferon and Riboferon injections and possibly a pill (that has to be determined by another blood test)...hopefully not a transplant and some other things that kind of faded in and out of my brain as she talked. I think some tests, scans and such. I suspected the illness, not the extent. Still, it shocked me.

Tonight I'm feeling a bit numb, in part because bronchitis set in over night and there is an elephant sitting on my head and chest leaving my brains feeling dull, in part because I'm confused that I look fairly healthy but know my body isn't and I'm trying to process all this information which is a lot to absorb mentally. A few days ago I took my concerns to God, knowing He will bring me through what is to come. I've been at peace emotionally, His love and shoulders are big enough to sustain me. The Lord Will Provide.

I'd certainly appreciate those of you who pray to take a moment and say a few words for me while I make another adjustment in my life

Bow down Your ear, O Lord, hear me;

For I am poor and needy.

Preserve my life, for I am holy;

You are my God;

Save Your servant who trusts in You!

Be merciful to me, O Lord,

For I cry to You all day long.

Rejoice the soul of Your servant,

For to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,

And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.

Give ear, O Lord, to my prayer;

And attend to the voice of my supplications.

In the day of my trouble I will call upon You,

For You will answer me.

Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord;

Nor are there any works like Your works.

All nations whom You have made

Shall come and worship before You, O Lord,

And shall glorify Your name.

For You are great, and do wondrous things;

You alone are God.

Teach me Your way, O Lord;

I will walk in Your truth;

Unite my heart to fear Your name.

I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,

And I will glorify Your name forevermore.

For great is Your mercy toward me,

And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.