Highly Sensitive Person in After OD

I learned today that I am a Highly Sensitive Person. It’s not a disorder, but simply a personality trait found in about 20% of people. Our brains work differently and we seem to over process stimuli, both physical and mental. Learning this about myself and that it’s a real thing just makes me understand my life so much better!

I always thought everything was a product of my anxiety and depression but I think they are a more so a product of being and HSP. The emotional ups and downs, the almost constant overwhelming feelings, all because I feel things so damn deeply.
Reading the traits of an HSP felt like I was reading about myself:

-Caffeine sensitivity. This has always been an issue. I can drink a tea at lunch and then won’t be able to sleep until after midnight. Now that I have ambien I don’t have to avoid caffeine so much, and actually use it as a tool to keep me going some days.

-Appreciation and need for art and nice esthetics. Definitely describes me. I’ve loved art and creating for as long as I can remember. I have my degree in photography, am taking clay classes right now, and though I don’t do it often anymore, I love to write. I do my best to make my personal space beautiful and appealing, as well as organized. Ugly and cluttered spaces make my anxiety soar.

-Low pain tolerance. I kind of just chalked this up to being a wimp. My husband and mother would both comment on how I couldn’t seem to handle any pain, almost making fun of me. I’ve had 3 abdominal surgeries and recovery after each one was very hard. Being an HSP explains that because my brain processes that feeling more deeply.

-Feeling exhausted from absorbing other people’s emotions. All the time. It’s an emotional roller coaster taking on the stress and anxieties of others.

These are just a few of the many traits I hold. Others include always looking for meaning, withdrawing, easily getting “hangry,” rattled by the pressure of time restraints, easily startled by loud noises, struggled with conflict, has sensory issues with things like clothing. All of this is me!

In a sense I feel relieved that I can understand this. I’m not crazy, there is a biological reason for my actions and behaviors and now having that understanding of why I hope that I can better learn to control my emotions, or at least cope with them more easily.