Decent in Current Events

Yesterday I woke up feeling pretty decent. Kind of like the way one feels after a good cry. It’s been years since I cried but after how low I felt on Thursday… Anyways, my prayers were answered and my roommates randomly skipped town for the day. I was like, this is so perfect! I did a 2.5-hour workout and blasted music and belted along and danced my ass off and I just felt so free. Free from everybody and free from everything. I was even ambitious enough to tackle my vegan Lasagna. Now, girl, let me tell you how big of a project that is. I make vegan ricotta from tofu, a vegan bechamel so I can get that nice caramelization on top and then just the vegan meat sauce. I used veggie ground round and an expensive vegan Italian sausage which I know how to make myself but I don’t have a steam rack for my pots yet. It doesn’t seem like a big project when I type it out but it turned out great. Nobody will ever know. The only real thing my brother in law had to say to me after I lost my job was that I should open my own restaurant. He doesn’t like vegan food but he said that everything I make is very delicious. I’ve thought about this before. We have a market at a place we call the Forks. It’s an ancient ground where first nations people would meet to exchange goods. It’s where two rivers meet, the Forks. My city, Winnipeg, translates to muddy waters and my country, Canada, translates to the village. The more you know. I could literally be a tour guide too. Anyways, it’s the hottest spot in the city and the food court is very ostentatious and whenever I see a vacant kitchen and counter I always imagine how I could just open a Vegan Restaurant there. The rent would be hella high and I would have to learn how to make pastries and desserts to add to a menu but it is still nice to fantasize about.
Anyways, I did get my severance yesterday and that will be my last check. I hadn’t looked at it yet because I am annoying that way. My brother in law leaves to work out of town for the next 21 days. I’m not sure if that is happening today or tomorrow but all that imaginary pressure that I’m feeling seems to be coming from him. In my mind anyway. Him always saying “get a job you bum!” might be the cause of that. I only applied at two places and I am not trying hard enough. Honestly, I still want more time off. I haven’t had this opportunity before I am milking it. I’ll be aggressive about it on Monday. I am promising myself that. I have no choice really, I just received my last paycheck. Sure, it’s 8 weeks worth but I want to bank as much of that as I can.
Someone reminded me in a comment in my last entry that this is what I wanted all along. To be free of that job. So even though I don’t like the way it happened, it’s still a gift that it happened at all. I wanted this severance on my way out. I know that my struggle right now is that I am unable to let go of that place. I am slowly losing all the relationships that I had with people from that place also. Hetal is the only person that I want to be friends with. I’ve always told her that. I’m going to her place tomorrow, she is going to cook for me. My mother doesn’t want to do much tomorrow so I will pop in to say hello OR I will see if she wants to grab dinner with me on Monday. I’ll call her shortly and see if that’s something she is open to.
Anyways, ta