I just want to be healthy again in Stuff

This week has been absolutely horrible. Horrible.
I’m still not better. Or at least, I don’t feel like I am.
To put it bluntly (and again, don’t be eating whilst reading this lol), last night I was awoken by one my own farts. LOL. My subconsciousness was kind enough to give me a solid warning shot to give me enough time to wake up and rush to my bathroom, where then it was anything but solid. And I’d be in there at least 20 minutes at a time, too scared to move from the porcelain seat.
I kept thinking to myself ‘Thank fuck I have an ensuite!’
Luckily the waking-up thing only happened the once. Each other time I had to rush there I wasn’t entirely asleep anyway. I must’ve gone about 4 times.
Each time, I’d try to rehydrate my body with water. I threw out all my leftover fruit and stuff that’d been in the fridge for a while. I still don’t know who the culprit was. I’m now even thinking it may have been a bag of caramel popcorn that I ate last week, because that’s something I never eat. I’m clutching at straws here. I’m definitely too scared to ever buy it again, just in case.
I’ve barely been eating anything, and Googling foods that are safe to eat. Google suggests an acronym called BRAT - which stands for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast - which are foods that are meant to aid a healthy gut post-diarrhea. Applesauce is an interesting one - I think I’ve only ever had that with turkey at Christmas time, but the other three I can do, although I had a banana at work yesterday and felt sick from even that.
I’ve been skipping breakfast entirely. I get to work and buy a container of watermelon. It was a suggestion from a workmate. It seems to be okay. But, naturally, I’ve had zero energy, and having zero energy in a physical job like mine is hell.
I have no idea how I’ve been even going to work mind you. And of course this happens on a week I’ve agreed to work a full-time week. And I’ve been moody with customers (only the ones who ask me stupid questions lol) and it just hasn’t been pleasant.
My manager has been nice and has just told me to go home if I need to, but I’ve fought through it, telling myself that if I was at home in bed, I’d just be getting depressed, and that is a WHOLE other story, because with this happening I obviously haven’t been able to gym, so my mental health is shot through to high hell, on top of my physical health!
I just feel bloated all the time. You would think with the amount of liquid and gas (I’m like a fucking science experiment!) coming out of me, that the bloating would subside, but it just hasn’t. Even standing on the scales, I still came in at around 96/97kg, which is slightly less that usual but fuck me, give me a break. I feel out of breath and I’m sitting on the loungeroom couch with the door wide open so that I can breath in the fresh air coming in. I’d do it in my bedroom, but my window only opens ajar a little (suicide prevention I guess). Although right now I do feel like throwing myself off the balcony. Not having any energy, bloated, scared of shitting my pants, struggling to breathe normally and my mental health all hitting me at once, just isn’t a very nice feeling. And I have hiccups. I hope it’s my body trying to get rid of something. Whatever this is. My workmate reckons it’s a case of the man-flu and he had what I have recently too. Although he called it ‘stage 1’. This better be the only damn stage!
I wanted to write this down. I was going to book in at the doctor upstairs but they charge $75 for a consultation and I’d rather go to my bulk-billed one, but given that Monday is yet another public holiday, they aren’t available until next Tuesday, and Google says that if symptoms persist after 3 days, to go and see a doc. Well bitch, I’m on Day 3!
I still have one more work-day to get through. With all that’s been happening, this full-time work-week has felt like a damn work-month.
I just want to be healthy again please.