Something to Ponder in Everyday Ramblings

It is peak iris time out there in my world but I am having trouble getting shots that meet my high standards after all these years of taking pictures of them and I thought instead I’d share the first wisteria of the season. I took this walking over to the Sherlock’s last Saturday.

This is my “overtime” week so I haven’t been out and about as much as I would like. I am so sick of working extra hours. I don’t mind it on an ad hoc as needed super crunch time basis but to have it basically be the only way to earn additional money because of the salary cap on my position is getting old.

A couple of days ago I had a meeting with the outside career counselor to talk about my options and I am going to see her in two weeks again. She was lovely and it felt good to talk about the crazy issues I am having in a safe and supportive environment. Much to my surprise, (probably not to yours), she suggested that I do a couple of exploratory interviews with outside attorneys.

I have talked privately now with a couple of women in my work group in a general way about the issue of not being valued and having men promoted on a fast track and while no one else wants to rock the boat there is a consensus that this is a workplace culture issue and not just for people who report to Mr. On The Spectrum.

Apparently the woman who is the current head of The Evil Empire who was so jealous that I was “given” Motorcycle Man as a coworker that she begged and cajoled and manipulated her way into getting a young man hired to help her is now regretting the decision because management is now listening to him and favoring him over her even though she has been in the job for over 30 years.

In the meantime Mr. On The Spectrum cancelled our standing meeting yesterday for no given reason, which I am sure was a huge relief to all three of us but also the only opportunity I have to talk to him about the projects he has me working on. Or the one’s he doesn’t think are important because they don’t benefit us in our department.

A couple of people I work with including Motorcycle Man are seriously affected by anxiety. It is something I have encountered a bunch lately at work as everyone lives in overwhelm land.

You say something simple like…”when you get a minute could you look into this”… and the next thing you know they have dropped everything they are doing to focus specifically on whatever it is you have asked about. As if there were judgment of them built into the fact of being asked. Then the thing you have asked about, which is a small thing, becomes super important.

I can’t do anything about their anxiety but I can work with my yoga students on it. So that is what we have been doing this week.

These practices are rooted in the body not the mind and are simple and I forgot how transformational they can be. It has been an interesting week for me as a teacher communicating these tools.

The yoga teacher workshop I took last weekend was rich and good, much to my surprise. It was about moving one’s teaching style in the direction I have been teaching in all along. Of the 12 certified teachers there only about half of us are actually teaching. There is a glut of folks who have been through teacher training.

I participated more than I usually do. Asked a ton of questions. This workshop was with the physical therapist I saw a year ago for one session to help me with my back. She is awesome and fit in ways I can only dream of. It was clear to me that I have developed a unique style of teaching that is creative and responsive and hopefully fun.

One of the differences between say a physical therapist and me is that they only see folks in the medical model when things are a problem, like my scoliosis and back pain. What I do is all about prevention and self-compassion but also learning the benefits of consistency.

I mentioned in a small group and then to the wider workshop that once I get my older students down on the floor they do not want to get back up again. Everybody laughed, because in a traditional yoga class you start on the floor, get up, and then return to the floor and if I can I start them in a chair or standing up I choose that. The facilitator said “Well, you have to push them to do things they don’t want to do…” You know, for their own good.

I am so grateful I am not stuck in that model. You can ask any of my students and they will tell you I do push them, oh yes I do, but hopefully in a curious let’s try this mode instead of you need to do this for your own good mode.

It is all something to ponder. While I make a decision about an outside attorney.

Last updated May 02, 2019