Toxic Masculinity. in Phoenix

Yep. That’s been my downfall. I’ve always been attracted to the wrong brand of masculinity.

Repeating the same actions and expecting different results over and over again is the definition of insanity.

I was insane. Fucking insane. Literally out of my mind with mental illness so powerful, so consuming, that I was attracted to the very thing that was my downfall. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

I am no longer insane. I have seen what real masculinity looks like. Oh, you guys. It’s so beautiful. It’s a warm blanket, it’s the sun on your face, it’s a cool breeze on a warm day. It’s healthy and good for you and doesn’t require conditions or compromise of yourself.

Oh, it’s just damn nice.

Also, I have a date on Sunday with a guy I have never met. Started talking to him a couple of weeks ago, we were supposed to meet, he cancelled, and I thought that was the end of it. He texted me tonight and asked me out again, so what the hell, I’m game.

But if I detect even a hint of toxicity, I’m out of there. It’ll be in a public place where I have many friends on staff, so it’s all good. What’s the worst that can happen? I get a drink out of the deal and my friends won’t let me get stupid. I hope. I’ll have to call a pre-game meeting or something to let everyone know not to let me get stupid.