Return of the ex in Riverdale

Return of the ex

So yesterday I went to the store and ran into an old ex of mine again.

I realized that he lives in the building right beside me for fucks sake!

I walked by just as he was exiting the door. I wasn't sure it was him or not and I heard him like yelling as I walked by so I turn around and he standing behind me looking my way. I had my earphones on though so I am not sure what he said or if he was talking to me. Anyways I just turned and kept walking. My heart was pounding. This guy won't leave me alone. I've seen him three times now since I've moved in this area unknowingly knowing that he lived in this area.

1st time got kicked out of the bar I was in after apologizing to me and just kept acting really drunk/high

2nd time nodded at me

3rd time yelling at me?? Possibly for not talking to him

He is an idiot gets high apparently he smokes crack now? Was violent towards me. That's why I got away from him. We went to school together in a small class so it was hard to avoid him and he would not stop trying to get my attention.

He wouldn't stop than and still now I just feel his presence I dream of him and now I realize he lives beside me. Ugh.

Last thing I need is this constant reminder.

I feel so vulnerable right now alone. Just in general lately.

Last night I saw this great show w my mom though it was a Argentinian dance show it was really good. Afterwards we went out to eat.

I have obsessive thoughts about O again. Trying to stop them and redirect them really. I wanna be done w him and all the shit and pain he's put me through he doesn't deserve my thoughts. I really want to just move on leave that book closed. I never loved him who he was. I thought I did but it was who I thought he was. And attached.

Anyways I am sure it will come in time this healing.

Not too much more going on I'm really wanting to get in good shape loose some weight. Lately since the program has been feeding me more than I'm used to and the weather being shitty and me feeling tired I have been eating out a lot and not always eating the healthiest.

So I wanna start drinking more water, eating better and working out. I hate gyms and it can't afford or know one close so I am going to start working out at home than try to find some Zumba classes. And maybe some kickboxing or something. I just am really trying to motivate myself and get more energy too. I am sick of moping and laying around thinking too much and feeling so unmotivated all the time.

I wanna feel good about my life what I am doing with it and start really taking care of myself

I got my eyebrows done yesterday big fucking mistake. The woman really waxed them thin. I hate them thin I used to get that some when I was a teenager but I like more natural now. I want something that suits my face shape too. I am getting used to it it's not too horrible but it really makes me look different. I have thick eyebrows so I feel like a part of me is gone. Not that I like my eyebrows naturally but I like them shaped and a bit thinner. I told the woman not too thin but whatever. My hair grows pretty fast. Unfortunately they say that eyebrow hair grows the slowest. But well see my hair grows pretty quick even my eyebrows.

But I'm trying to improve my outer appearance. I got my hair done my nails done and I wanna get a pedi soon. When I look good I feel good. Some people think it's vanity but it's not. It's making yourself presentable and taking care of yourself. You don't have to look like fake Barbie or whatever but I think looking good how you wanna look good is important.

Anyways should get my ass up and start doing some shit.

Ciao