Pop Culture Debates in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Partially as there isn’t much to say today… I wanted to look into some Pop Culture Discussion Topics and Debate Topics. That being said there may be spoilers herein for Television Shows, Movies, Books, Comic Books, or Video Games.

As this is going to be a WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING… feel free to entirely skip this. There is a lot here but none of it of any particular substance. If, however, you have a particular interest in any of the following topics, feel free to hit CNTRL and F then type in the topic you want to read about.

DEATH NOTE
POP MUSIC
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
SHAZAM
THE SIMPSONS
COWBOY BEBOP
THE BIG BANG THEORY
POLITICS

DEATH NOTE
There is a curious element to Death Note that happens about midway through the series. When we meet Light Yagami, he is a student that discovers a Magic Book. He uses that book to murder criminals… but as he lives in a world where “The murder of a murderer is guilty of the crime of murder” he is being hunted by police. So he then uses the book to murder innocent people trying to stop him. For me… even if you support the Kill the Killers perspective… killing The Innocent must at least give you pause. Even if you can understand why he is doing it. But a curious thing happens in the show. Light loses the Magic Book and loses all memory of the book, what it can do, and what he did with it. SO… we see him without the Book’s influence. He’s a good kid. He wants to help the police find this murderer and put a stop to him. He forms healthy friendships and attachments. ALL of those vanish in an instant when he comes back into contact with the Magic Book and regains his memory of it.

THIS then is the question: The Two Light Yagami?

Light acts like almost two entirely different people. The Kira Yagami is arrogant, egocentric, willing to kill whomever to reach his goal of being the God of this new world! The Student Yagami is personable, helpful, willing to put in the hard work to reach his goal of stopping Kira. AND as Student Yagami has no memory of Kira, this version of him can’t be shrugged off as a ruse or a contrivance. Student Yagami must be perceived as The Real Yagami but for the existence of the Death Note. That creates the question right there. Does Light Yagami have an alternate personality? Or is the Death Note uniquely able to influence its user in subtle ways? I would argue that the second is far more likely. The Death Note is an item from the Realm of Shinigami. Shinigami are gods or supernatural spirits that invite humans toward death. The Death Note itself works on the magics of Shinigami and each notebook is tied to a Shinigami.... Ryuk, Sidoh, Gelus, Midora, Rem, or the others. Therefore, I would postulate that the Death Note has an almost One Ring affect. The Death Note does not create violence or desire for murder but it significantly enhances those tendencies in its users by manipulating their inherent desires. LIGHT desired to be a detective and stop criminals. LIGHT plus DEATH NOTE desired to be a God in a Crime Free World where he would murder anyone he counted as criminal. MISA desired to be with Light/Kira and help him however she could. MISA plus DEATH NOTE desired to be whatever Kira needed, willing to make any sacrifice and murder any person if it would aid Kira in his goals.

POP MUSIC

There is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer line that Rupert Giles says to Buffy after babysitting a young teenage girl:
“Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys.”
This morning on my drive in to work, there was a 1990s Nostalgia Run… NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, Brittany Spears, etc. And… especially during the Spears song… the Giles quote struck me.

Ms. Spears can sing certainly. But really listen to “Baby One More Time” again and tell me that such a song is musically, lyrically, or technically proficient at being music. Maybe I’m just being a crotchety old man here, but consider it. The breathy, nasally, voice used in “Baby One More Time” is… amateurish and technically very poor. Not even just as a “Well, she was only 17 at the time!” kind of way either. Ms. Spears and Beyonce Knowles were born the same year only a few months apart. Compare the technical proficiency of the singers between “Baby One More Time” and “Say My Name”. One More Time was released in 1998, Say My Name was released in 1999. “Say My Name” makes the singer, then 18 years old, sound like a vocal professional. “Baby One More Time” makes the singer, then 17 years old, sounds like someone auditioning for the local Talent Show.

I’d like to say now we turn to the lyrics but lyrically… Pop Music has traditionally been a lyrical void. Occasionally, you’ll get a Simon & Garfunkle or Pink or even Ben Folds to some extent and the lyrics will actually matter. But Ms. Spear’s “Oh baby, baby/The reason I breathe is you/Boy you got me blinded/Oh pretty baby/There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do/It’s not the way I planned it” isn’t that much worse or better than Aqua’s “I’m a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world/Dress me up, make it tight, I’m your dolly/You’re my doll, rock’n’roll, feel the glamour in pink/Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky.”

In short, Ms. Spear’s first major hit was successful for two reasons. Reasons we see play out over and over again in the world of “music” which leave us plenty of room for debate.
(1) The song allows listeners an acceptable musical moment for dance
(2) The singer was attractive and was sexualized in the music video.

Welcome to Pop Music. Can you dance to it? Do I want to have sex with the performer? Does it matter whether she is above or below the age of consent? Can we potentially turn this “singer” into a brand including signature scents, a clothing line, and video games? Okay. She’s officially a “Singer”.... because of reasons mostly having nothing to do with singing.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Speaking of Buffy Quotes… there are always interesting debates over “What is the greatest quote from (Fill In The Blank)?” Now… greatest, as a subjective term of quality, is a wide and broad concept. Does “greatest” mean funniest… most poignant… best capsulization of the series… most eloquent? How does one define great? Even as I attempt to determine my own “Greatest quote from Buffy” I find that I struggle. My criteria remains, but the quotes battle. For me, GREATEST means: the quote means something, even if out of context, and that the meaning is timeless. The greatest quote would be something that a Non-Buffy Fan would think, “Wow. That’s good” while at the same time being so iconic or in universe that a Buffy Fan would smile knowingly. So… out of 7 Seasons of Television… 144 Episodes… what are my personal contenders?

The Runners Up

The Yellow Crayon Speech.
This one HAS to make a list of possibles even if it doesn’t truly fit my criteria well enough. This comes from the Season 6 Finale. Willow Rosenberg, a main character from the very start, began as a timid, shy, dorky girl. Over the series she became a computer whiz and a Mega Powerful Witch. When her girlfriend was murdered in front of her, she succumbed to the darkest urges of her Mega Powerful Witch nature and decided that she would end her pain and the pain of the world by destroying the world. All of the Super Powered People in the show can’t stop her. But at the point of contact, where she is going to end the world, out comes Xander Harris… Willow’s oldest friend. It is obvious that this will be the tropey cliche “I love you, don’t do this” speech and Willow even sarcastically quips about it. Instead of ignoring the quip or evading… Xander embraces that, while it may be schlocky, love is still powerful… and unconditional love is more powerful than that.
LINE: The first day of kindergarten, you cried because you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You’ve come pretty far. Ending the world… not a terrific notion… but the thing is… yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary, veiny Willow. So if I’m goin’ out, it’s here. If you wanna kill the world, well, then start with me. I’ve earned that.”
Why it falls outside of my criteria: This is a wonderful scene and a great bit of monologue, delivered well. But the majority of the power of the line comes because we know these characters, what they’ve been through, who they are to each other. The line truthfully can’t stand alone, out of context, as a great line. It’s a wonderful part of the show… but outside of that context, it means very little.

Understanding Death Speech
This is perhaps one of the single greatest, if heart breaking, moments in Television for all of 2001. Joyce Summers, Buffy’s mother and series regular, has died of a Brain Tumor. The Body attempts to show how everyone is attempting to process their grief, a fairly standard TV episode when a character dies. Where Buffy turned it into something much stronger was through the character of Anya. Emma Caulfield did an amazing job with this scene!! Anya is a human turned demon turned human. She was a human back in Viking Times but then became a Vengeance Demon. Human for less than 20 years then Demon for centuries upon centuries; she loses her powers and is rendered Human in Season 3 of Buffy. Thus… by The Body in Season Five… she’s been human again for only about two years. This means that Joyce’s death is the first REAL death, the first MEANINGFUL death of her existence. And she’s struggling with it uniquely having been an immortal demon since before Leonardo da Vinci was born. This provides an articulate, if child-like, perspective on the matter of death and hammers home how The First Death for anyone is a heavy, confusing, tragic thing to try to process.
LINE: I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s… there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and it’s stupid. And Xander’s crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch. Ever. And she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever. And no one will explain to me why!
Why it falls outside of my criteria: This is a wonderful scene and an almost perfect performance by Ms. Caulfield. And anyone who has experienced death can relate to that feeling and that confusion and that existential sorrow that comes with death. But, like the previous line, so much of this scene lives in the performance, in knowing the characters and knowing how these lines fit in context. While it certainly is more relatable out of context than Yellow Crayon the reason this line will make any Buffy fan start to tear up isn’t so much the words themselves but how artfully, passionately, and brilliantly Emma Caulfield played the scene. If you’re a fan… when you read those lines, you hear the voice… see the face… the experience comes back to you. Since that is such a unique part of it… without the context and experience, the line has far less power.

The Clocktower Speech
This mini-monologue takes place in Season 3, Episode 18 in an episode called Earshot. In the episode, Buffy fights a pair of demons that don’t have mouths. After killing one of the demons, the demonic blood falls onto Buffy’s hand and is absorbed into her skin. It is discovered that this means that Buffy may have been infected with an “aspect of the demon,” but no one is sure what that means. Buffy, being a High School Student, certainly worries if that means horns or a tail. As you may have guessed from the description of the demons; the aspect Buffy gets is telepathy. The episode plays out well in a Twilight Zone sense… telepathy is fun until you hear EVERYONE and it spirals out of control. In this episode, among the din of thoughts, Buffy hears “This time tomorrow, I’ll kill you all.” Unfortunately, Buffy has no idea who was thinking it. This leads to her confronting Jonathon Levinson (played by Danny Strong) who is in the Campus Clocktower with a High Powered Rifle. He is not the killer, however, as he went to the clocktower to kill himself. He’s tired of being ignored and passed over and treated as insignificant.
Historical Point of Interest: The historical context of this episode does not significantly effect the power of the quote, but it should be shared. This episode was scheduled to be released on April 27, 1999. The air date was delayed almost 5 months as the Columbine Massacre happened on April 20, 1999 and the studio felt that an episode revealing a gun on campus and a threat “to the whole school” would be in extremely poor taste so shortly after the tragedy. Interestingly, Sarah Michelle Gellar has stated she thinks the episode should have been aired without delay as this exact mini monologue could maybe have helped some of the survivors.
LINE: My life happens on occasion to suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it’s not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they’re too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they’re feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It’s not. It’s deafening.
Why I can’t say it is The Best: This is a wonderful line and offers perspective for people who go through life wondering why people are the way they are. However, I feel like this is something we SHOULD be learning in High School and in life when we’re students. I know that I know better… some people NEVER learn to consider other perspectives… but this quote doesn’t feel like some all encompassing, speaks to everyone kind of quote.

The Best Quotes (In No Particular Order)

The Hilltop Speech
This quote can be difficult out of context, but still works well enough out of context to be considered. Background on the episode is that Angel has been resurrected. Six second summary there- Angel is a vampire turned good who was forcefully turned evil again because of his strong and unabiding love for Buffy. She had to kill him. He was resurrected but tortured over the thought that he could be forced into evil again. This episode, Amends, involves a Great Evil trying to convince Angel that he will always become evil because he will always love Buffy. Angel decides that he must kill himself to protect the woman he loves. Buffy discovers this and understands. Angel evil is a terrible thing. But suicide isn’t the answer. She rushes to the hilltop where he is awaiting the Sun and they argue about their love for each other and what needs to happen with Buffy trying to convince Angel not to die.
Interesting Historical Note: Joss Whedon has called the Hilltop Argument some of the best writing he’s ever done.
LINE: Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do, and we can do it together, but if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn.
Analysis: This is definitely a “top 5” line for me but it really loses a lot of its power out of context! Granted, it is still an important line. It ticks the boxes. The quote means something- life is tough and the fight is hard but it is what we have to do and we CAN do it! Even out of Context the line retains the same meaning. The meaning is timeless. That being said… I’d strongly recommend people watch the entire scene because the line has a LOT more power in the context of the larger argument between the two characters.

The Passion Speech
Obviously, fans will argue with each other forever on what season of Buffy was the best season. For me the contest will always be between Seasons 2 and 3. Season 3 had The Mayor, Mr. Trick, Faith… great characters. But Season 2 had the Angel/Angelus arc which brought about great Angelus quotes and gave us the character Whistler who did great narration quotes. The Passion Speech is one of the former. Angelus is the evil version of Angel. And Angel passionately loved Buffy. Angelus passionately hates Buffy. While Angel would have done anything to protect Buffy. Angelus would have done anything to hurt Buffy. This speech is a narration by Angelus that begins the episode where (as the promos kept promising) Angelus is going to kill one of Buffy’s friends.
LINE: Passion… it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us… passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments; the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank… without passion, we’d be truly dead.
Analysis: This definitely deserves to be on this list. Not only does the quote 100% have a meaning that works out of context and beyond time… it is a perfect, if dark, definition of something that poets and writers have been discussing for a millennium. Passion, defined as strong and uncontrollable emotion, isn’t simply ardor. Passion is the emotional drive behind anything we feel strongly about.

The Whistler Narration
This “speech” is broken up between the lead IN narration for the episode and the lead OUT narration for the episode… so I assume some will call it cheating to put them together here. That being said… Whistler was an under utilized character and, no offense to the late Glenn Quinn, should have been the Demonic Helper in Angel’s first season. This narration is part of the Two-Part Season Two Finale. Angelus is going to destroy the world. Drusilla kills a friend of Buffy’s and then kidnaps her mentor… her army puts Willow in the hospital and Xander in a cast. The episode ends with a very dour note among loss and failure.
LINE: (Beginning Narration) There’s small moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you’re gonna be. Sometimes they’re little, subtle moments. Sometimes… they’re not. I’ll show you what I mean. (Ending Narration) Bottom line is, even if you see ‘em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are. You’ll see what I mean.
Analysis: I honestly think this is one of those quotes that everyone should hear. Small moments matter, the small things in life that become life altering… those things are going to come and there’s nothing you can do about it. But what you do IN RESPONSE to those moments is what defines who you are and who you’re going to be.

The Gift
The problem with being a Nerd or Dork in the last fifty years typically relates to Licensing and Corporate Agreements. The Avengers Movie couldn’t use Skrull because Sony owned the film rights; Guardians of the Galaxy couldn’t use Silver Surfer because Sony owned the film rights… these things happen. Something similar happened to Buffy the Vampire Slayer as well. The stories change depending on who you ask and as time marches on memories get hazy… but the version I believe is true: The WB network informed Joss Whedon that they would not be renewing Buffy for a Season 6. The writers wrote an emotional, moving, important Series Finale. The new UPN network made an offer to the WB for Buffy and the WB sold the show. The Writers, now tasked with writing a Season Finale instead of a Series Finale had to quickly remove a number of elements. Items that were removed: Willow becoming Evil due to too much Witch Power (used later in Season 6); Anya dying defending her friends (used later in Season 7), The Hellmouth swallowing Sunnydale (used later in Season 7). HOWEVER, much to UPN’s frustration and anger… the writers did NOT take out “Buffy Dies”. That is the context of this line. Buffy has to make a choice… kill her little sister/allow her sister to die or die in her sister’s place. Buffy, ever the hero, accepts that “Death is her Gift” and throws herself to her death to protect her sister, her friends, and the world.
Stupid Historical Fact: Several Parent Groups were furious with this episode, claiming it romanticized suicide and advocated for suicide. This is ironic considering the lines actually stated in the episode. I’ll give the entire “Goodbye Speech” but the part that puts it on the list for me? I’ll put that in bold. Because that is the only part of the quote that truly BELONGS on the list.
LINE: Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

To add one last Buffy Pop Culture Debate to the mix:

Something fans are almost constantly arguing about is “The Slayer Line.” or “Slayer Chain” depending on how you discuss it. In the lore of Buffy:
When mankind was yet in its infancy, a collection of wise men with great power determined that a Champion would be needed to fight against the vampires, the demons, the forces of darkness. She would be The Slayer, mystically endowed with Super Natural Abilities that would allow her to be faster, stronger, a better fighter, a better hunter. At the death of a Slayer, a new Slayer would be called, mystically receiving the power of The Slayer… the girl called would be one who was worthy… and she would be The Slayer. This is how it would go for centuries. A Slayer is called, she fights, she dies, a new Slayer is called. Organizations and protocols would be created surrounding the line of Slayers. A group of individuals was created called The Watchers. They would watch the world for girls with the potential to be The Slayer; they would train these girls to fight and survive… and if the girl received the power of The Slayer, her individual Watcher would be tasked as both trainer and chronicler. Keeping a record of the Slayer’s adventures and misadventures so that The Watcher’s Council always had a complete record of The Slayer throughout history.

The TV Show isn’t exactly a sequel to the movie, nor is it exactly a reboot, but it doesn’t ignore the film entirely either. Best way to say it: Buffy Summers was a potential Slayer. Merrick, a Watcher, was dispatched after she came into her Slayer powers. The specific reason for the delay is never stated… but I believe it is because The Watcher’s Council was unaware that Buffy was a potential slayer to begin with. Merick trains Buffy briefly but is killed in Los Angeles during a fight against a Vampiric Hoard. Buffy defeats this Hoard by setting fire to the school gymnasium… destroying the evidence of Merick’s death and getting herself expelled. The TV Show starts with Buffy and her mother moving to Sunnydale to start over. Here Buffy meets Rupert Giles, her new watcher, and is informed that Sunnydale is… kind of a Mecca-level Travel Destination for Demons and Vampires. In the Season One Finale Episode, Buffy Summers dies. She is drowned. Her heart stops beating. Her lungs stop breathing. She is dead. HOWEVER through the miracles of modern medicine (and CPR) she is resuscitated and revived. She still has Slayer Abilities. We discover in Season Two, however, that there is now a 2nd Slayer in the world. Kendra the Vampire Slayer. Buffy died, a new slayer was activated. At the end of Season Two, Kendra is murdered. We discover in Season Three, however, that there is now a new 2nd Slayer in the world. Faith the Vampire Slayer. The line went from Buffy to Kendra to Faith.

HERE IS WHERE THE DEBATE BEGINS: In Season Five, Buffy dies. Again. But another Slayer is not called. WHY?! Fans argue about this. Since I have a side I feel that this debate is silly… but only because I am convinced that I am right. lol.

Do we really believe in the entire history of the World, a Slayer death/revive has never happened before? I know that modern medicine is doing things now that would have been considered Witchcraft only 40 years ago… but over the entire course of Human History a Slayer, one mystically endowed with strength and other abilities, never had a close call where they were revived? AND YET… the world isn’t suddenly crawling with Vampire Slayers. The magic was “self regulating”. Buffy had been activated, so she retains her abilities. There have even been suggested that if you turn a Slayer into a Vampire, you get a stronger and faster vampire as those abilities remain intact. HOWEVER, into each generation, a slayer is called. Death, even if revived, severs The Line. It is a straight line forever marching forward never looping backwards. Therefore, as seen in Season 7, the only way to truly destroy the Slayer’s entire potential… is to murder every girl that could be a Slayer, then kill Buffy, then kill Faith. Because Faith’s death, and only Faith’s death, would trigger a new slayer.

SHAZAM

I have not yet seen the new Shazam movie but I hear very good things. The character fascinates me on a number of levels. The Character Level: He is basically a young boy that is given super powers and as much as he idolizes the heroes like Superman and Batman… he actually has the power to defeat Superman. I get that people would argue this but it is a well-established, repeated, often-stated fact that Superman isn’t just “weak to Kryptonite.” He also has a weakness to Magic. Shazam is entirely powered by magic. Therefore, Shazam can absolutely go toe-to-toe with the Man of Steel. I’m also fascinated by the Character due to the legal history. Captain Marvel was once a Faucett (sp?) Comics property. The company that would become DC bought their properties when the Comic Publisher folded. Marvel Comics created a Super Hero named Captain Marvel. DC created a Super Hero named Captain Marvel. DC sued Marvel because DC owned the name Captain Marvel due to their purchase of Faucett properties. DC won and thus Marvel turned their Captain Marvel into Captain Mar-Vel, an alien. Captain Mar-Vel plays a significant role in Carol Danvers life, Carol being Ms. Marvel (as well as a number of other names in her publication history!). With the creation of the New 52 Comics Line from DC, and due to a number of behind the scenes negotiations.... DC gave Marvel Comics the rights to the name Captain Marvel. Thus Ms. Marvel becomes Captain Marvel. This is shared for a number of reasons but perhaps my favorite? Technically what we have right now is a Captain Marvel Movie starring Brie Larson and a Captain Marvel Movie starring Zachary Levi. In the original Captain Marvel (DC) books Billy Batson meets The Wizard who instructs him to say Shazam! to transform into his Super Hero Identity. As Captain Marvel (DC) Billy will have an adult sized, muscley body and.... the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury. SHAZAM!

In the New 52 Reboot (and movie) it is revealed that it is not simply “The Wizard” but that the Wizard’s name is SHAZAM and by uttering that word, Billy becomes the hero SHAZAM with the same acronym of powers. Something that many people criticized in the New 52 Comic Book version (and I’ve seen as a criticism of the new movie) is that the S is either ignored or misunderstood.

A capsule of the complaints I hear: Why is Shazam so much more like Billy considering he is supposed to have the Wisdom of Solomon? I mean… I get that part of the appeal of the character is Young Kid in Adult Super Hero but… c’mon. It’s IN THE NAME. Wisdom of Solomon!”

In some regards… that’s fair. Solomon’s wisdom is a cornerstone of the Abrahamic Faiths. And those guys are like warring cousins! If you can get Jews, Christians, and Muslims to all agree on something… take notice. And Solomon is considered a fabulously wealthy and wise king of Israel and the son of King David. Solomon is the biblical king most famous for his wisdom. In 1 Kings, God appears to Solomon directly (in a dream) and offers Solomon whatever he wants. Solomon asks for wisdom. THAT kind of “Solomon is Wisdom Guy”. BUT this is also where I think people get confused themselves. While we consider WISDOM to be “super smart” that isn’t actually what wisdom means. This isn’t Dictionary or Encyclopedia based but my father used to tell me
“Intelligence is knowing things. Wisdom is knowing how to use intelligence.” Or better stated, especially given the specific stories of Solomon’s wisdom: Wisdom is both knowing what justice is and seeing that justice is served. So… all these guys getting butthurt about a SHAZAM that “still acts too much like a child”.... reconsider. Again, I haven’t seen the movie yet so I can’t say confidently… but re-focus what WISDOM means. Does Shazam know what justice is? Does he work to see justice done? When it comes time to make a difficult decision in the service of justice; is he ruled by justice and compassion or self-serving personal interest? That’s all that Wisdom of Solomon needs to mean.

THE SIMPSONS

So… there has long been a Simpson’s Fan Theory. And like many a Fan Theory, there is ample evidence to suggest some reality. This fan theory has been flatly denied by Simpson’s show creators… but I would love to know what your opinions on this are. We, of course, are talking about HOMER IN A COMA or HOME THE VEGETABLE however you heard about it first.

If you’re unfamiliar with the theory, various websites discuss it in various ways giving credit to various different people suggesting various elements of proof. I say, nuts to that… here’s a succinct way of discussing it.

In October of 1992, The Simpsons hit Season 4, Episode 3: Homer the Heretic. In this episode, Homer is too cold and miserable to attend church with his family and stays home while the rest of the Simpsons head towards Reverend Lovehjoy’s Church and Pulpit. While the Churchgoers experience boredom, freezing cold, and being temporarily trapped inside the church when ice freezes the doors shit.... Homer has what he describes as “the best morning ever” or something along those lines. He decides that he believes in God but will no longer attend church. He is visited by God in a dream and discusses his decision to form a new religion without church. Here’s where we get to the important part: At the end of the episode, Homer has returned to Church and is asleep in a pew. God visits him again and consoles him over his “failed religion.” As the show reaches its final minutes the following exchange takes place between Homer (H) and God (G)

H: What’s the meaning of life?
G: Homer, I can’t tell you that. You’ll find out when you die.
H: I can’t wait that long!
G: You can’t wait six months?
H: No, tell me now!
G: Oh, all right. The meaning of life is (SHOW ENDS)

SO… October 1992… God tells Homer that you are going to die in 6 months.
On April 1, 1993… we have Season 4, Episode 18: So It’s Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show.

There are a number of things to point out immediately. First and foremost is the fact that Print Ads around the time of this episode declared that it was the SERIES finale. This, of course, was announced as an April Fool’s Joke (of course… they are now in their 32nd Season!) Second, coincidence or not, note that April 1993 is exactly 6 months after Homer the Heretic.

In So It’s Come to This, Homer is playing April Fool’s pranks on Bart and Bart decides to retaliate in a big way. Bart takes a beer can and uses an industrial Paint Mixer to shake the can. Homer opens the beer and the beer explodes. Literally. Damage to the house and Homer winds up in the Hospital. It is revealed that Homer survived the explosion, but he may never be able to walk again. Homer, however, spies a Candy Machine and walks over to it… before causing the machine to fall down on top of him, thus landing him in a coma. The episode ends with Homer waking up around May 16th having lost 5% of his brain.

THE THEORY IS that Homer never woke up. The theory is that everything the audience has seen since April 1, 1993 has been a part of Homer’s active coma dreams as he is slowly dying. The math works out and (as far as story goes) it would make a lot of sense for the ensuing seasons to be “Coma Fantasies.” After all, the Simpsons was a fairly grounded show for the first many years. But as the show continued, it became less and less grounded… less and less connected to a consistent concept of reality. References to Modern Day News or cameos by Celebrities or popular Musicians are because the Television is on in Homer’s Coma Ward and his brain is incorporating what he hears into these coma fantasies.

One of the big reasons I actually DO like this fan theory??? It means that any episode that sucks… is just a Coma Brain trying to thread various bits of a dying mind together. Episodes that are awesome? That’s just a really good day for Homer’s brain. It is still dying, he’s not waking up… but his brain is strong that day. I don’t know. Possibly just silly and stupid; but as far as Fan Theories go, I’ve always liked it.

COWBOY BEBOP

There is a funny/is it funny? thing going around The Net.

TRUTH: Netflix is doing a Live Action project of Cowboy Bebop
TRUTH: The following Cast Members have been confirmed- John Cho, Mustafa Shakir, Daniella Pineda, and Alex Hassell

RUMOR: The hyper-smart Pembroke-Welsh Corgi character Ein is being recast as a Siberian Husky.

RESEARCH states that the Rumor is false.

But… I don’t see it as a rumor. I see it as an active measure of Positive Trolling. The idea here being that Japanese Manga Live Action Projects… whenever NOT done by Japan… are almost tripping over themselves to replace any Asian Characters with White Characters. I’ve seen more White People playing Asian Roles in my life than I can even begin to tolerate! I won’t waste your time here by listing all of them. I’ll just say “From Mickey Rooney to Scarlett Johansson, there’s a long and shameful history.” So… getting a rumor started that Ein will go from a Pembroke-Welsh Corgi to a Siberian Husky… seems like just the right level of playful trolling with an eye towards social consciousness.

Last Pop Culture Item :)

THE BIG BANG THEORY

So… I’m not a fan of this show. Other people are, my parents love it, whatever… I’m not judging them harshly (much) but I am not a fan of this show. It feels that a lot of it (at least the early years) was another “Nerds! Stereotypes of Nerds! Humor of Stereotypes of Nerds! HAHAHAHAHA!” Things like… “HA! Nerds would rather play video games than go on a date!” Actual Episode. Or “HA! Nerds don’t know how to react when a girl walks into the Comic Book store!” Actual Episode. Or “HA! Nerds get passionate about their hobbies!” Most episodes. And I felt the “Stereotype, laugh at this stereotype!” was a weak and lazy way to write a series… especially in that the “target” of those Stereotypes were depictions of MY culture.

That being said… there was a depiction of a character that was… well… I suppose I would have to say rapey. Howard Joel Wolowitz: a character that earns the tri-fecta. An obvious Jewish Stereotype that also gets to be the Live With Mom Forever Stereotype that also gets to be the “Lady’s Man full of sexist, rapey, borderline assaultive behaviors” stereotype. SO.... he’s the “creepy, pervert who lives with his mom” until he becomes a husband and moves in with his Wife.

And who becomes his Wife?

Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski played by Melissa Rauch!

Bernadette is a former beauty queen, super intelligent, and sweet as can be. (Super hot, if we’re being direct). On the first date Bernadette has with Walowitz, they quite literally cannot find anything that they have in common but for the fact that they both have overbearing mothers. AND YET.... these two get married and start a family.

Y’know what that suggests?

It is okay to be the creepy, perverted, sexist nerd for as long as you want because you (as a man) are owed an incredibly beautiful woman that will want to be with you despite sharing no common ground.

In other words… it is the bullshit, toxic masculinity narrative of HOT WOMEN ARE PARTICIPATION TROPHIES. I have, do, and will continue to find that narrative upsetting.

AND… a little political for today. Because why not?

POLITICS

This story about the Changes Wrought By Fox News is… accurate, familiar, scary, and sad.

From the article: *A lot of the stories echoed that turning point. There was something about Obama that seemed to make a lot of previously apolitical or moderate family members lose their minds. Gosh — what could it have possibly been?

This is, I think, where the channel’s genius lies. Any salesperson or con artist will tell you that you can’t incept a thought in a mark’s mind out of nowhere. You have to find the hook that’s already there — fear, or desire — and exploit it. When it comes to exacerbating and honing the anxieties of aging Americans you can’t do much better (or worse) than race and immigration.*

And that is fucking familiar!

My father was never what you would call a liberal man. I grew up knowing that my father thought Christianity should be compulsory, Homosexuality should be a Capital Offense, and that (while my father would never admit to having racist thoughts) he believed he was allowed to say the “N” word because declaring a word acceptable “only for a certain color of people” was institutional racism. That’s where he started. But he was still a compassionate person. He still wanted to live an ethical, compassionate life centered on the model of Christ. Until 2008. Obama coming in to office… not just as a Black Man… but as a Black Man whose father wasn’t an American… as a Black Man whose father had been Muslim (though he died an Atheist).... and worst of all, as a Black Man who was a Democrat… that made Dad realize that “his place in the world” wasn’t where he thought it was. Not that he was racist, per se. But he grew up in a wealthy white family in Iowa in the 1950s and 1960s. The proper way of the world was that The Super Rich Whites would get first, then Him, then the Poor Whites, then black people. And to see the son of a Black African Muslim become the President when his life still had hardships?!? That is just a bridge too far, sir!! After that? It was war. While I remained staunchly INDEPENDENT dedicated to ISSUES BASED politics over Party Politics… Dad stopped being thoughtful about political issues. I would mock Obama and Holder for going easy on Marijuana… Dad would laugh and tell me I was right. I would tell him that it is less about marijuana itself and more about Constitutional Complications due to Interstate Commerce as litigated during Civil Rights? He would scoff and tell me that isn’t why it’s bad and the Civil Rights arguments were broken anyway. I would tell him that Obama was terrible at Domestic Intelligence and Dad would laugh and agree because Obama didn’t do enough to stop Domestic Terrorism. I would actually interject saying I disagreed with Obama continually expanding the use of drones and domestic spy projects that violated the civil liberties of US Citizens; and dad would scoff and tell me we needed to do those things. It was truly the start of where we are now. The idea that “I don’t care if I agree with Obama’s actions and policy; I hate Obama”. And that same Cognitive Dissonance played out in 2016. “I hate Trump. I think he’s a terrible person. He’s unethical and unChristian and is an awful person. Of course I’m voting for him! He’s the only Republican who can beat Hillary!”

If you follow me on Facebook at all, you’ve likely seen this today.
Trump’s video tweet using Batman music removed due to copyright

As I said: When the big ones don’t matter, neither do the small ones.
A President that has specifically encouraged, accepted, or requested that his Cabinet, his Supporters, and his Administration break the law… is also the President that illegally uses copy-written music for his Campaign video.

The question I’ve been asking the whole time since the beginning: HOW (and why) do people expect him to be an acceptable CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER (charged with faithfully executing the laws of the nation) WHEN HE INTENTIONALLY IGNORES THE LAWS OF THE NATION (and/or claims ignorance to them!)??

(That being said, to add some light heartedness… his choice of the Dark Knight Rises score is a close, but not quite moment… he should have used The Dark Knight as he often applauds Administration by Chaos… his whole presidency seems to be “I’m just a dog chasing cars; I didn’t know what to do when I actually caught the thing!”)

McConnell privately advises Republicans to tell Trump about Cain concerns

I was wondering what it would take to get Mitch McConnell to actually DO HIS JOB for a change instead of sucking Trump’s dick. Now… that isn’t fair. This doesn’t suggest at ALL that McConnell has stopped sucking Trump’s dick. This just means that McConnell is now encouraging people that they don’t have to. But… COME ON. Trump has not had a full cabinet in a year! That isn’t Democrat Obstruction, like Trump likes to say. He hasn’t EVEN BEEN FUCKING NOMINATING. And for every nomination he has out there; he fires two more people!! We don’t have a Secretary of Defense! We have an ACTING Secretary of Defense… who has held that job as “ACTING” for the longest “ACTING” role in American History… but we don’t have a Secretary of Defense. And instead of dealing with things like that… you fire your head of the Department of Homeland Security… the woman who supported putting children in detention facilities where sexual assaults were rampant… because you thought she was TOO SOFT? And then you immediately terminate the head of the Secret Service twenty four hours later? Get. Your SHIT. Together. And I’m aiming THAT comment at the GOP. Stop falling on your sword every time the President starts bitching about whatever… the President is a man that has (DOCUMENTED, THERE IS EVIDENCE) complained about being asked to pay a bill that he promised BY CONTRACT to pay. This is not an honorable, decent, intelligent, compassionate, competent, or capable man. STOP selling yourselves out and STOP selling your constituents out in a bad faith attempt to make Trump be nice to you!

And don’t even get me STARTED on shit like “Three black churches burn in New Orleans within days of each other” headlines. EVERY non-partisan non-political rubric has pointed a giant bloody neon sign saying “White nationalism has been on the rise since 2016 and at present could be the greatest single threat of Domestic Terrorism” meanwhile, The President who was elected on a “Protect America” placard… continues to say, “There’s no problem. White Nationalism isn’t a problem. Nationalism isn’t a problem. Nationalism is good. I’m a nationalist.”