Equipped For Service in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

New questions are on the table this week as I consider my service to God in carrying the Gospel to the world. Opportunity has hit too close to home and the question in my heart became, "Christian, are you going to address this openly?"

The funny thing about people is we like to call ourselves good, but in fact, we are horribly sinful in our day-to-day lives. I don't make habit of pointing out other people's sin to them, though I have been known to do so without putting my Christian heart of prayer before my mouth and good people have been hurt.

I come from good people, my well-meaning, hard-working family live their very different lives getting by like the average persons do. Me, I'm the odd one out, being Christian, formerly "Holier Than Thou" because I quit using drugs years ago and my siblings didn't. My brother, "Oh No Here HE Comes" is Jehovah's Witness so the rest of the family has lumped us into the "don't answer the phone/door and for no reason let THEM find out about this.

"This" was announced on Tuesday at my nieces twenty-first birthday party followed with much excitement and clamoring, or so I hear. My drop-dead beautiful niece, one of the most attractive women I've ever known, just a tender twenty-one, my sister and her long-term boyfriend, my niece's boyfriend, my mother, and all of the friends from jobs, school, neighbors and beyond are celebrating that I am going to be a great-aunt this year. Yes, my niece is pregnant.

I admit, welcoming a new little one into the family is a bit exciting. The last time it happened was twenty-one years ago when my niece herself, was born. Part of me would very much enjoy and hopes to become part of her family, but at this time our relationship isn't reflective of such a possibility. My prayer life will begin to include this.

Here is where I begin to face myself, the Christian. There are many issues here, thoughts to be sorted out, beliefs to be challenged, answers to be identified, and in the end the question "Will I use my Christian equipment to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ?" This is where far too often a Christian will be called judgmental and have doors close when windows might have opened.

Easily I could be viewed as a hypocrite because I, like my mother before me, my sister after me, and now my niece after us all is pregnant out of wedlock. It is a family tradition and not an especially good one. During each of these pregnancies the family divided on response, 50% ignored the wrongfulness of it from a moral and Christian point of view and the other 50% ignored the wrongfulness of it from a Christian view suggesting abortion be the proper response to the "problem".

Easy now, I'm just exploring my own thoughts and it could be your family isn't to far off from mine here.The way I see it this is not a-typical of the general American family of the Twenty-First Century. I have issue with both sides. Why in all these years has nobody said, "hey how about getting your life in order, establishing a faith based relationship, marrying? Then having children would benefit your life and that of your family's future far more than being a single mom and hoping this relationship works out." Equally, I take issue with those who said, "You really should get an abortion. You have no idea how having a baby is going to wreck/change your life". No, those aren't the comforting or congratulatory words an expecting mother wants to hear, either.

Because I do not believe in abortion I am with a welcoming disposition toward becoming a great-aunt. I'm not thrilled at any level my niece is pregnant. She's very young, irresponsible, employed in a way difficult to call employed and is certainly hazardous to her pregnancy. Those are simple facts. I have no idea about the boy/man whom she is having this child with, other than he works at the same job presently, but is leaving the country with his father to work at gainful employment, until the baby is born. Then what? That's all family rumor. I didn't even know the man existed until Tuesday. None of these are likely to be issues of conversation I have with my sister or niece. Personally, I think my sister should have or still could but my sister is at the top of the pile of people who are thrilled. She's going to be a grandma. I'd like to be a grandma too, but I really would like it to be something my son is prepared for and maybe even plans for once he and his girlfriend have finally married.

What is difficult here for me is I am looking at this through my Christian eyes and basing my beliefs on Biblical values and the Word of God. My family does not live by the Word of God. I'm the lone wolf out in my family, which translates to I am viewed hypocritical and/or a judgmental Christian in their eyes. I need to find ways to cross bridges and encourage discussion which will draw on the love Christ wants us all to focus on.

Why am I even thinking about opening my mouth regarding this? Because over fifty years have gone by and not a living person has said, "God has a plan for us and it is clearly laid out in the Bible. I have read it and want to share it with you." I have nothing to loose with the family by reaching out to my niece if I get the chance. She hasn't spoken to me since she was eight years old. My sister and I just last year cleared the smoke between us and put on the table terms of engagement. I'm not welcomed in her family, but I'm no longer NOT welcomed either. Further I stand to displeasure God by not speaking out on His behalf.

I will be spending plenty of time sorting this through. At this time I only know one thing with certainty, it is on my heart to speak out regarding the history of unplanned and unwed pregnancy in my family, to open the dialog about stopping it now, with this generation. I also plan to get busy making a quilt for the baby.

Tomorrow I leave for the retreat and missions conference. I'm pretty ready and looking forward to it. Most of all I am excited to see where God is leading me.

Off to get my batteries charged!