Not allowed to go out, kill self, burn mobile home to ground in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

I gave Talan a $15 gift card to Krogers decided get food to get by because he didnt get his paycheck to pay rent or bills. In return Talan spent the $15 plus $75 more after i told him use $15 till Monday he refused. He told me i am covering this he wont after he offered to help.. He in returned said it my fault we cant pay the bills. When i cried because we were arguing he demanded me to kill myself and burn the mobile home to the ground. I only made $200 this paycheck but he demanded me to pay rent, car insurance, power, gas food etc. I could not.

I asked him to please take me fishing. He said i am not allowed unless that is going be our dinner. I dont eat fish. I asked him take me on a walk he said no watching Letterkenny. We cant afford it. I asked if we can do taxes he refused calling off of work to do taxes tomorrow even though we need the money and i can do that my damn self. He said he wanted to choose what bank account the money goes into.

He screamed at me quit being a child i need to learn to depend on him. Dad is dead he cant save me anymore. I cried in hysterical. Why bring my dead dad into this? I cant depend on Talan videogames, naps and sitting on his ass is more important than me.

I wanted to go to Zumba with Tella i wasnt allowed we couldnt afford it even though it is a free class. Tella went without me i cried sitting in the bedroom hoping he wouldnt cuss me again. I slept because only there am i happy.

When a depressed person needs out of the house please do it. Dont say we cant afford to take you out. Why is this person must cry staring at blank walls? Quit making promises you wont keep! A person cannot see depression is killing the sad person. They need just a moment of happiness. Today i cried behind walls took car keys and said i am leaving. He asked as he allowed to come? I need away for a while give me space. Let me wonder a bit find a grasp as sanity. You cant afford to let me go out? Can you afford the hospital bill when i am committed because i cant function with depression anymore? Let me live!

I am at Walmart wondering aimlessly wondering why do i keep trying?