You are not alone in through the looking glass.

I watch them hold up my son from across the room, their shared smiles as they engage him with gentle movement and sound. Later I see the subtle crumple of her face during conversation, the loss of presence, the depth of sadness. And I remember.

I remember holding our friends’ six-month old daughter in my lap as we sang during a communal Sukkot meal, her little hands fumbling at the pages of the bencher, and David looking on, beaming, next to me. I remember her mother eventually taking her from my arms, kissing her forehead. It comes back so easily, the intensity and complexity of emotions - loss, joy, despair, sadness.

You are not alone.