Get Over It in Current Events

I went to the casino last night. I should have stayed home. I dropped $100 in less than 15 minutes. Whatever, I got to act like I get paid once in a while. I think that my luck has run out so I shall put this to rest for a long while.
I am not out of control but I do not have the level of structure in my life that I’m used to. I’m the man with the plan and that is how I manage my anxiety. Bad things happen when I don’t… like a poor choice to go to the casino lol. At the end of the day, I blame everything on my self. I only hold myself accountable. Even when I am whining about other people and situations I only have myself to blame. Choices, I make my own choices. There is always an opportunity to do something. In my mind anyway. I know that I can look at my work situation differently and step up more. I know that I can force myself into a gym and just not care about looking like a fool at first. I know that I can just call a university and look into what I need to qualify and apply. I got to get over myself. I got to wake up and think about nothing else but my goals. I got to gas myself up and want it badly enough. I need to not be afraid of failure and just do it. All of it. “You are so frustrating I just want to smack you on the back of the head” is what my mother said to me. She is so right.