Lunatic In-Laws and Other Fun Family Dysfunction in Inside My Head

So I am currently fighting with my husband's younger brother Andrew. Andrew and his twin brother Daniel have always been a little...off. I think they have Aspberger's Syndrome. Nothing has ever been officially diagnosed , but anyone who meets them agrees with me. Anyway, my relationship with both of them has taken a nosedive in recent years, following the pattern of my relationship with their parents.

In college we got along. I used to have dinner every Sunday and sometimes Saturday as well at their house. Then Michael lost his job in 2008 when his company went under and things just went downhill. I worked two jobs to support both Michael and myself. They refused to come visit us because they didn't want to pay for a hotel so instead I would jump in the car (after working 12+ hours) and drive 3 hours to visit them. They always keep the house freezing. I understand that I get cold easily but there is no reason to keep the thermostat at 65 in the middle of winter and keep fans on when you see that I am clearly freezing my ass off. You would think they would throw a couple of bucks at us once in awhile since I am completely supporting their son who I am not even married to. Nope.

When we got engaged it got worse. Michael's father Paul called Mike one week after we were engaged to inform us that we have to have Andrew live with us because Paul and Andrew were fighting. Michael wasn't even asked, he was told. Which is interesting since I am the one supporting Michael...so now I get to support his brother as well?! Awesome. After working a 12 hour shift Michael informed me when I got home that his brother would now be living with us. Oh and by the way, he doesn't have a job. This obviously caused Michael and I get into a big fight. Michael's not only never even asked me my permission, but then never even apologized to me. He apparently apologized to Mike though so I guess I'm just not that important. His parents refused to pay for anything for the wedding (they always claim poverty but they have money to buy a new condo and refurnish it. AND brag to me about how much they spent). They didn't show up to the engagement party (they were busy), his mother didn't come to my bridal shower (she was busy), they didn't show up to the wedding rehearsal, they left my wedding two hours early (they were tired), and they didn't give a wedding gift (they were poor....buying all that new furniture took a bite out of their account). A few months later Michael's dad charged us $1000 for a car that he lent to Michael which had already been paid off years before. So yeah...I'm basically pretty fed up with the bunch of them. Prior to last weekend I haven't seen them since last April.

So last weekend Michael asked me to go to his parents' condo because his mother wanted to celebrate that Michael passed the CPA exam. I agreed because he has been so awesome to me recently and because I knew it would mean a lot. Michaels brother Andrew had thankfully moved out to Reno, Nevda so the family was sky ping with him. While I admit that I didn't say a lot to him, it did not warrant a really nasty text message that I got from him later that night. I texted him back that he was being rude and inappropriate and I received not one but two nasty phone messages whwre he used the word fuck multiple times as well as accusing me of treating his family poorly, being deceitful, and causing fights. I saved both messages and will be making Mike listen to them tonight. I am beyond livid. I am also pissed off that Michael has not said one word to his brother. Mike never chastised his parents for the way they acted during my engagement and wedding. We got I to a big fight about it awhile ago. I refuse to be treated poorly by my family, so what would make him think that I would allow his family to do so?! I'm a big girl, I can defend myself, but it would be nice if Mike acted like a man and defended his wife.

In other news I called my mother today. We are getting along better now that we hashed things out. I'm still not speaking to John. I spoke to Becca recently who was really great and supportive of the infertility situation -- I finally broke down and told her. So at least my family situation is better which makes me feel a little better. I still want to chuck Michael's family off a cliff though.

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