I Could Have Easily Written That in meh...

(Note: This is just a retelling of a situation that I was in that I’ve read about recently. When I say been there done that…)

Many, many times I said I wouldn’t fall for it. I said I would give it up, give him up. The cycle was tiresome. Yet, I found myself in his clutches. Again.

I was done. I stated so. We had a disagreement. I bowed out of this situation. I was done.

I was left alone. Little to no contact. The little contact because we have children together. I was cold and stand offish. Not buying into the small talk. Stuff like that. Weeks went by. I’m feeling better. Out of sight, out of mind. I’m not lonely. I was tired of being used anyway.

Phone rings in the middle of the night. “Can we talk?” About what? “We need to talk. Can you come over?” In my head, I already know the routine. I know the script. We talk, he kisses me, I pull away, I cry, he kisses me, I give in. Great sex. Feel hopeful the next day. Feel stupid the day after that when things go back to how they have been AND I see him with the new chick he just said he didn’t care for anymore. I could do something stupid like make her aware that we slept together recently, but what does that prove? That I can have him anytime I want or he can have me? There is a difference.

So do I stay or should I go?

Like a dummy I went. All that stuff happened again. All the same insecurities happened again. All the depression happened again. Then one day, I saw his promises for the empty mason jars they were and I smashed every last one of them.

I walked away from them and never looked back.
So when you’re serious about walking away, you will walk away.

Last updated March 21, 2019