30 Second Entry in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Just wanted to pop in today and say Halloooooo and everyone have safe St. Patrick’s Day festivities if you are in a location that celebrates this holiday with copious amounts of alcoholic beverages.

Counseling today felt… rewarding. It seemed very on point and focused as to what it was all about. It has essentially been decided and communicated clearly that we are in a time where I need to see action, behavior change, and follow through not just words, plans, and idle wish-fullness. This being clearly communicated (directly and unambiguously) coupled with Wife’s recent behavior (she has gone back to the Animal Shelter to volunteer a few times; she has her list of classes she’s narrowing down)… that is good. Not perfect, and I’ll certainly call out backsliding, laziness, and half-assadery but… being pretty open and direct (and not diplomatic) with: You’ve been talking and doing nothing for 7 years; do something… get up, off your ass, and get your shit together because I’ve run out of patience, I have no tolerance for continued bullshit, and I’m very much done with any kind of “wait and see” approach. Essentially:

Oh and… I’m not exactly struggling with my Lawyer Ethics on this.... because my Lawyer Ethics don’t technically control this situation but I’m using them to try to hold myself properly accountable and ethical despite not being technically legally required to… because I want to be an ethical, over-all good kind of guy.

See, back in the day… Raven talked to me about using her real name or using her photos on Prosebox. As she was a writer and knew people IRL who used Prosebox; she did not want her OnLine Life to interfere, fuck up, or interrupt her IRL. TOTALLY GET IT… hell, this website (through no mal-intention of its own) ruined a person’s life and career once… if you weren’t here for that, be thankful. I didn’t know the person, never followed the person’s Prosebox, but even I heard about the issue and was horrified and disappointed by the whole thing. A person’s PROSEBOX should not cost them their job, their family, or their peace of mind!
That being said… I am very tempted to share an image that she sent me… and I don’t quite know why.... other than the following possibiltiies
(1) As I go through stories and descriptions, I will likely do the poor woman very little justice and would like to display an accurate representation of her beauty
(2) Honestly… there is a sick, and misplaced, ego thing there… the idea that a woman that looked (possibly looked) THIS good and would want anything to do with me… is certainly an ego boost!
(3) Normally in these kinds of things, I’d just find an assortment of pictures that were “Close, maybe in the ballpark, if you squint and add all of them together you might get an approximation”. But I genuinely don’t think I can find the pictures to do that in her case. The deep cleavage but small attractive face, the make up “on point” and an impeccable cross between “staying true to Goth/Punk” and “Professional/Appropriate”… yeah. In other words, I don’t think even my Google Image/Pinterest/Imagur skills will be enough.

But here’s the deal… She asked me not to, so I won’t. But I really want to. SO what happens when my desires and ethics battle?

Desires say, “Dude… she walked away from the relationship, the friendship, all communication… she bailed, she ghosted. She knows you are a prolific PB writer and possess images of her that you can use at any time. If she was so against images being shared, then she shouldn’t have just up and ghosted and left forever.”

Ethics say, “Okay, but you’re an attorney. And in situations of Lawyer Client Privilege, that privilege extends beyond death and it does so for a specific reason. Lawyers should be trustworthy. If you ask an attorney to do something and it is within the law for that attorney to do it… that attorney is honor bound and ethics bound to do so. While this friendship/relationship was never controlled by Lawyer/Client privilege or any contractual language… the idea that you’d owe a greater ethical sense of honor to criminals than you would your friends is reprehensible. Even if a friend becomes an enemy, they should be able to rely on you to keep your promises.”