Update in Current Events

I suppose now that my depression subsided my anxiety has come out to play. I was immediately triggered when Karamjeet called me from work to update me on what she completed for me today. Also about an awkward encounter that she had with my boss. Her store burned down and I had to move mountains to get her to come work for me. With me, I should say. I finally have some help at work. We always got along at work functions and in passing and now she is like a mentor to me. However, I was uncomfortable that my boss and his business partner went to speak with her and asked her how I was running things. She told them straight up that I let my staff walk all over me. She did say that to my face so that is not what bothers me. It was their response. We’re going to make some changes around here. * I haven’t been feeling like my job is secure since I had the Operations Manager uninstalled for marital affairs that he was having with his employees in his restaurant. I’ve been completely alone at my store with minimal assistance and no time to do anything. I’m trying to be a nice boss who respects his employees and their time and I suppose they have taken advantage of that. I’m open to her feedback. I am going to return my store when it reopens but I like to leave things in a better state than when I found it. I want to help you.* Honestly, I have so much that I can learn from her. Lord knows that my boss is not around to guide me.
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I was telling my therapist today about my depression and my anxiety. I have been numb for so long and now that we have been opening up all my scars I have been a bit more sensitive. I’m alive again? Unfortunately for me, I don’t have much going on in my life right now except for my job, which I do not want. I want the last possible promotion that I can get from them before I quit. I have a handful of skills that I want for my resume and a few programs that I want them to pay for. Then I will quit. Maybe? I’ve been saying that for 13 years. My friend Toni and I are moving out in June or so and she wants to live at the opposite end of the city. I could always transfer? Or just find another job in that area? I do want that adventure of learning to live in a different part of the city. The area she wants to live in is very white and full of hippies lol. Our non-caucasian asses will fit in just beautifully. She does like her weed and I do like to only eat plants so… a good fit? The other area that she wants to live in is the part of the city that I always wanted to live in when I was in my 20s. My little slice of Toronto. However, it is overrun with bedbugs and rowdy twenty-something-year-olds.
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I think that I am ready to call the career counsellor that I saw a few years ago. We sorted out what my job values were and what I needed to get job satisfaction in life so I think that becoming a dietician would be a good fit for me. Together that career counsellor and I can sort out everything I need to do to get me there. In the meantime, I just have everything on the back of my mind while I work up the nerve to make a big move in my life. Ugh, honestly my wanderlust has not gone away and I have been looking at how cost effective Bali is. I just don’t want to go alone. Blah. I suppose the appeal of that is just me trying to get away from my problems. I just want to travel and see the world and never stop.
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A now some poetry:
Fucken, fucking, fucker fuck
Fucked fucks