Blah in Current Events

I try not to complain too much but today was just a shit show at work. Somebody had called in before I got there, my boss actually had time to swing by my location but before I could make it there. Things were falling apart that I didn’t call in from the night before. We had a drunk guy that we had to kick out at 11am and he ripped the hanging lamps from my ceiling and smashed them around in my lobby. My employees had left half of their jobs for me to finish when I got in and the service guys that I called were fucking rude jerks to me. Completely embarrassed me in front of my staff. I have been trying to get a manager from a different location to come work for me so that I can get some actual help at my store but I will have to wait and see how that goes on Monday. I just wanted to rip my hair out, cry and/or get drunk.
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I think I have been so out of sorts because of all the scars that I had to open during my last therapy session. I don’t bring up the horrible shit that I’ve been through because it feels like ancient history to me. Also, I don’t like to feel like I am playing a victim in my life. Even if I was. It was the conversation about Roarke that made my skin crawl though. I had to talk out loud about wishing that I was not gay. That was years ago, I am over it? Fuck. I feel like my therapist calls me out on every opinion that I have. Like I am not allowed to have one unless I can produce an explanation on the fly. I haven’t even gotten started on the shit that is eating away at me right the fuck now.
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It’s times like these I wish I had a boyfriend. Somebody that knew how to make me feel like everything is okay. Of all the things that have been manifesting in my life, why not this one? lol
At the end of the day, literally, everything is fine. Good. Great. I should count my blessings.