Dear CoWorkers... in Everything Else

I really need some of the people I have to work with to grow the fuck up and act like adults. I swear that 45+ year old women are annoying as fuck. I have one who whimpers, literally pushes out her lower lip and whimpers when I don’t have a purple pen for her to use. Yes, 45+ year old woman who throws a tiff because I don’t have a fucking purple pen. I had a pen that had a purple barrell, but the inserts were only blue and black, because I am a full fledged adult accountant/biller who quit using purple pens in high school. Okay, college, but still. Do I like purple? Yes. Do I sometimes want to use it? You bet. Will I? Nope! Because of her, I will never have another purple pen on my desk. Not only because of her obnoxiousness, but she fuckikng steals them.

Another co-worker, also 45+ years old, will not take blame for anything. She will go out of her way to not be at fault. Must be nice to be so fucking perfect. I am sure her “issues” were/are not her fault either. She put me at fault for not picking up checks on Friday. She stated, in an email to multiple people that I was not at work. I was at work and I responded that I was at work and that my door was closed because the cleaner is courteous and closes our doors when he vacuums, he also comes around and reopens them. She worked in this office, she knows this. She was just being a cunt. She responded with “I knocked?” Is that asking me if you knocked? Because you fucking didn’t. You didn’t bother to see if our vehicles were here, you didn’t bother to wait for my neighbor to return to his office (she made a point to say his door was open but he was not in his office). I think she was here pre 8:00 a.m. and I don’t keep hours to cater to her. She knows my schedule, it has not changed since I started some 13+ years ago. Stupid bitch!

Yet another 50+ year old woman believes it is perfectly acceptable to spend a couple hours a day twice a week talking to her bestie on the phone. She works 4 days a week. FOUR, fucking 4, but can’t do that shit on her off time. I don’t even let family call me when I am at work and if for some reason they do, they always have a very fucking good reason. And it has happened twice in the last year. Once was that my mom was locked inside the house (it’s a tricky screen door) and the other was my sister asking if mom was okay because she wasn’t answering the phone, to which I hauled ass out of work because I was afraid a huge hutch had fallen on her (she was painting and refuses to wait for help moving heavy ass shit).

We have a 50+ year old man who is a fucking creeper and cooks fish, every fucking day in the microwave. Every day. It is disgusting and it soaks into everyone else’s food rendering it trash. He also destroys the bathrooms on the regular (like every hour for 20+ minutes with a book in tow regular) and crop dusts the copy center, the mail center, the kitchen, hallway, records room. It is fucking disgusting and he should see a doctor.

And this is Tuesday.