Just trying in Second 1st

So today i have to use some of the money that’s for the house note to get another shot in my ear. This one is different. Before it was to boost, a steroid, to assist with healing and hopefully avoid the dizzy.... it really in the end just made it worse.

Today, 2:30, I’ll be getting a shot in my ear that is designed to deaden nerves in the area causing the dizzy.

i was supposed to be having surgery today but upon the discovery that they wanted my whole years deductible up front. Well, not happening. So, this shot.... should go down 80% like the ones I had prior. After some technical reading I’ll have to figure out how not to swallow for 30 mins! So I’ll be drooling everywhere wonderful. There will be a local anesthetic and I should be dizzy after. Probably more so than usual. I’m sure I’ll still be useless the next couple days. Then I’ll have a follow up in a few weeks where we till talk about Vestibular Rehabilitation Therapy.

I’m not looking forward to this, less evasive than surgery but i’m still a bit scared. We are killing a nerve. Seriously, that’s where we are. Kill a nerve. In my head it’s like cut off an arm to the rest of the body can live. What cost? How bad will it be after this? .... I don’t feel like I have a choice right now honestly, if it will help and can get me back to work.

I’m stressing now because of money and i don’t even feel like the worst has started. Rocky seems to think all will work out on Friday when I should get my first short term disability paycheck but his opinion on money doesn’t mean shit to me right now. IF he had been doing like I asked 6 months ago and working at a job he was getting paid more I wouldn’t be worried so much.

sigh it’s okay it’s all okay breath

Spending my time trying to make more on Mturk. Spending more time doing diamond paintings. Trying to accommodate anyone willing to buy the things Rocky had bought before without taking losses. I get more messages after I go to bed than any other time of the day so that seems impossible.

It all seems impossible. head in hands. It is not emotionally a good days guys. Which sucks cause I have to get this shot today. I honestly hope Rocky doesn’t wake till he has to get ready to take me. I don’t want to deal with people today.

Sammy finally put a schedule on the fridge! looks like I have another 3 hours before he gets up :)....