mummy's purse smells like wintergreen and broken dreams in reflections in the shimmering pool

do you ever remember things but then like mix it w movies so like the memory is way better but then you realize that half of the memory did not really happen to you but it was in a movie that was somewhat related to the memory

I have this specific memory of my whole family going to red lobster when I was four (or something) I say I’d had to have been 4 at the oldest cause BD’s old house. So that really happened. We all went and waited for ever and looked at the live lobsters.

But then I mix it with this movie called That’s Life! with Jack Lemmon and Julie Andrews. There is a scene where they are all out to eat at a fancy restaurant and dressed up and Jack Lemmon starts talking about cooking live lobster in white wine and getting the lobster drunk before it dies so it isn’t all tense when you try to eat it later. And the family in the movie is all dressed up and fancy 80s style and it’s in Malibu. I think back and remember that as my own family sitting there all fancy at red lobster.

And then I think about BD’s old house and how BEFORE I was in school (so I was like 3 or 4) she would babysit us all day. And sometimes everyone would go out to dinner and it was probably at red lobster and I can remember having to get ready and dress nice and BD spraying Giorgio perfume and DD’s fancy shirt or summer golf shirt and cologne. But once again in my mind I cross it with That’s Life! and so I picture them being all fancy 80s. But this wasn’t the 80s this was like 94. I dunno why I connect these two things but it’s so integrated now that it is the actual memory, movie stuff and all. Oh and also I associate it with Yacht Rock because that type of music was always on, and now Yacht Rock has this own association with like fancy 80s summer so that REINFORCES the whole aesthetic I created myself about my own childhood that isn’t real. So now I listen to the Yacht Rock channel on Sirius so I can be reminded of this restructured memory of dangly earrings and hairspray and Giorgio and lobster in white wine and cocktails in Malibu and it creates real nostalgia for me. Also, I didn’t watch That’s Life! until I was much older so clearly I created this whole alternate universe rather recently but I did not do it consciously.

I thought of this today for 2 reasons. 1. I went to Red Lobster with LB today and 2. I was just watching the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and there was this one part where the mom (who I think resembles BD) is eating grapefruit with a spoon and in front of her there are slices of toast in a toast holder. So BD definitely did eat grapefruit with a spoon and she did definitely have one of those toast holders. But I was thinking how I bet this is going to start another chain of memories with blurred lines. Like, in the future, when I try to recall memories of BD, I might unconsciously slide in something that the mom did on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and be like oh that was so cool and then start claiming that whole aesthetic as my own childhood nostalgia and each time this happens, the legend of my past just becomes richer and richer and the costumes just get better and better.

Last updated January 28, 2019