hey i'm back. in 2018

hey everyone i’m back. [you. went somewhere?] yes. to my mom’s. for the holidays. um also i’ve been sewing. i recently, took in my pajama pants cause i’m so tiny. and the cold air gets in between the spacing between um. the waistband and like. my skin so. it’s cold in my rm. and i don’t like things being loose. and i’m glad i did. take in the waistband. yeah people might not know this about me. but i’m mainly. a self taught sewer. i’ve hemmed my own things, taken them in...........um but yeah. also i was organizing in the last. like month or so wow. so there’s that.
yeah so like i said on the 22nd. of um last month well I heard my dad was supposed to be at. where i live at 6:30. p.m. and so like at 6:40 i called my mom and asked the status. but first i called my dad. well they, my dad and my aunt were on their way. which was why. i didn’t answer when my dad called.........cause i knew and was like ‘oh ok’. only. apparently it was my aunt calling using my dad’s phone. as my dad was driving so.
They got there by 7. er here i mean. at where i live. um. christmas was good. actually. well not that it’s usually.........not but. i was raped 2 days before xmas eve a little over 6 yrs. ago so. and no not by a family member. and that’s why i don’t like xmas. also everyone’s so fake and cheerful. like dear god. that’s how valerie was. seemingly all the time. my former mentor. i’m so glad she quit. thank god. as i didn’t like her.
yeah my new yr.’s was ok not that anyone had asked. see i never say anything’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’. ‘ok’ is my standard answer. if someone were to ask you ‘how are you?’ and i’d reply w/ ‘i’m ok’ even if i’m not. that’s why i don’t like when someone replies w/ ‘that’s good’ cause sometimes. it’s not. No that’s just my standard answer.............also like. what’s another word for ‘good’? ‘well’ i supposed but that sounds weird ‘that’s well’. idinno. um yeah so on nye my sister i went to the thai place. for dinner. as usual. oh maybe i had a psych. appt. the 3rd yeah i think i did.
oh yeah so like. Soon after the 19th, of last month i stopped taking either the mouthwash or the vit. or both. like i got tired of.........having to physically get ready, to take either. like putting all my coats on. and my cords. and the getting ready for the day type of thing. it was so much pressure. and i was just like ya know what? no. so it’s not the actual physical act of taking the meds that’s the problem. it’s the getting ready to do so. i know most people don’t wear more then one coat in their house. but i’m not most people esp. in winter. yeah i’m kindof weird. cause i’m self conscious. massively in fact. and i don’t wear a bra and i don’t want it to be like. physically obvious so. i just. stopped doing that taking the meds for that reason. i’m amazed my vit. levels are as good as they are. no but the last time i had an appt. w/ the. dr. lady..........dr. earp. uh. well that weekend i got more tomatos, from the store then usual and that’s a reason why. cause i was paranoid my vit. c levels wouldn’t be good. maybe to her it’s not an issue if they’re not good. but to me it is. i had an appt. w/ her the 19th which. actually was recently. they took some blood tests d. and c. that’s. right that’s the weekend as the appt. was mon. i think. um but anyway. that’s the weekend i got all those tomatos. so now. i’m on viactiv this dual vit. d. supplement thing. which........well i haven’t been taking it every day i’ll be honest. i started taking it thurs. and then i’ve been taking it........fri., sun.............uh tonight which is wed.
yeah my perio appt. went well. yeah my perio doesn’t want to do, much else other then the usual regular cleanings. untill we know about the vit. levels. see he thinks that. my front lower tooth.........has always been like that. it has never, had enough bone. also although i have normal size teeth. i have a small jaw so. you know that. obviously causes problems. there’s crowding but not so much that it’s super obvious. and we think that’s. why it, the tooth, would have to be um. requiem-ed as it were. for those who catch my drift. although......it seems like my.........um periodontitis has cleared up. so. you know. again i’m playing the waiting game i’ve been playing it since nov. really. yeah the 16th.
my next appt. w/ the dr. lady dr. earp is march..........7th and then i have a filling at my dentist next..........month. appt. w/ perio is april 25th. so. yeah. i mean things are clearing up but i’m not done. this whole thing hasn’t. ended.
but i’m. idinno i’m alrite. i’m here obvs. it’s just. i’m kindof in between. my great aunt died 17th of last month. and i’m not a big fan of feb. mainly cause. the weekend before val. day 6 yrs. gao my ex & i broke up. so..........yeah. don’t get me wrong i got nothin against love. i think it should be called ‘love day’ ya know? cause that’s just. i like that i feel like it’s so much better. also around feb. 8th of last yr. was the last time i er well ‘tried’. [well not ‘tried’ as that’s not a thing. you either do or you don’t. fine started to] off myself so.........yeah before that it was almost 3 yrs. since. so. um yeah.