People discuss relentlessly how much they desire true love. As if it is some inevitble pull against their will. The heart is fickle in the ways it can be weightless. Consequences are overlooked, youth is rejuvinated, and lust is inquenchable. Clinging to the past we assume we learn from previous heatbreaks, but it seems mistakes are just repeated in different form. True love. Doesn't exist. Made up for the dreamers, the hopeful, the lonleys souls at the bottom of their rope. I will not give in to the tempation of this silly hype. It cannot be real. I wont let the wool come down over these eyes.
We have been dating one month. He is going extremely fast. He sent flowers to my work today. I should be excited and gloating in all the attention it is giving me. But it is bitter sweet. I am not ready for this. For a relationship. For true love. In one month he has given me his key, told me im perfect for him, pictures me in his future, is taking me out for the weekend, and now flowers. I feel so much pressue. I am not there where he is yet. Let my heart mend from my previous break. I have told him numerous times I am not ready, please slow down. He apologizes........but then I got flowers today.
I know, women around the world go ahead and yell at me. I kow I am lucky to have a man who cares so much. But it just so much so fast. Im heading for the hills! lol. I dont want to hurt him, but i dont want him to waste his time either. Ugh. Such stupid emotions. I almost just want to shut the door and block everything out. Everyone and everything.
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