Dad unmarked grave, sis in law cancer, mom depressed.idk what to do! in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

I called in to persue the comp case. I filled out what paperwork i could. The doctor looked at my ankle appearing disinterested. I explained i slipped and fell i have swelling difficulty walking. I asked him if it was more than i sprang he dismissed me changing the topic. He wouldnt look at xray he forward me to do ct scan. I dont know if i should work or not. I wasnt told. I am going to ask Raleigh General to check my xray.

I talked to a friend named Emily after she went in to see the doctor i went to dads grave. The people who buried him promised dads grave labeled. I stood there nothing even show he ever existed. December 9th was day dad died. I layed down a blanket and cried beside his grave. I decided he wouldnt be forgotten. I bought a 3 foot tall metal flower from Hobby Lobby put it on his grave and cried more. It was labeled with his name and dates. Mom cant afford a headstone currently because life insurance didnt give full amount of money over issue with paperwork.

While visiting dads grave a girl i work with Kuhn demanded me to take her shift tomorrow where she covered me to visit comp appointment. I turned off phone tossed it in the truck. I can barely walk because i got injured at work. I am visiting the dead quit annoying us! Dammit he is trying to rest in peace! Dont bring your issues to my dad’s grave. I am trying to talk to him! You can wait for my answer Kuhn.

After i visited dad at his grave i called mom. She took my sister in law Lesa to the hospital for Lesa to be told she has cancer spot on her scalp. She told Tom when she dies donate her to science she will not put Tom in debt burying her. I caught myself tearing up a little. Dad been buried less than a month now my sister in law Lesa is fighting for her life. I need to be careful death usually comes in 3s.

I spent the night with mom since i took my day off. Talan worked a 12 hour shift overnight guarding the coal mine. I told him my free mobile home should be at moms house around the week of the 12th. Talan why am i rebuilding a mobile home instead just moving ours to moms. My voice cracked i cried when i told him rebuilding the free mobile home with dad’s tools and supplies will make me feel for a while he is still alive. I need to rebuild this mobile home to prove to myself dad’s heart attack didnt kill him in vain. I need to prove what he taught me all these years stayed with me. Dad may not be picking up that hammer but i feel him in spirit. I need this to stop crying i need to heal. I caught myself crying when i said.. “Hold on dad help me with 1 project before you go” shit here i am crying having difficulty writing this. Excuse me life has been hard.

Talan and i are collecting cash to help pay for a tombstone. I have been looking online for an affordable companion stone because when mom time comes she plans to be beside dad. I found one for $600 online free shipping. I been talking to mom about making a payment plan. She is so depressed she doesnt want to function. Since dad died i been cheering her on trying get her to even bathe or pay bills. Smallest functions are difficult! I dont know how to fix this. I feel so hopeless. I suggest we going to grief counseling.

Mom says today she wants to go out and celebrate Christmas we skipped it because dads death. I might need to beg her to get out of bed. I am so worried for her. Dad and her was just days away from their 47 wedding anniversary when he died.

I am sorry this entry isnt more cheerful. Life isnt always a happily ever after.