Each Year in Stygian Black Mire in General Mental Anesthesia

NOTE: Anger Infused Entry.

Just received a certified letter today stating that I was turned down for chemotherapy for ulcerative colitis (after my GI said I was approved!!!)

With every other medication a failure and my health deteriorating faster than I can type and not enough money to see the only person capable of saving my life; I desperately needed the chemo in the hopes of extending my life long enough to reach out to the healing hand oh so far away.

My first infusion was to start this Thursday and I have my next 3 appointments already scheduled. Now they’ll have to be cancelled as I can’t afford it. Life has been an unequivocal hell trying to survive this long without hospitalization and in the letter it specifically states (in all caps no less) THE QUANTITY WAS MISSING FROM THE REQUEST.

My fucking GI office that filled out the paperwork for financial aid (after I provided what I needed to) forgot to put in the amount of medication I need, so I was denied.

Of course, my GI’s office is not open until Wednesday and I did speak with the after hours nurse, but she couldn’t help. Why is it that every single GI that I’ve ever met in a 26 year span has been an incompetent asshole?

No treatment for me.... :’(

As always, I’m screwed.

And 2019 will continue with the annual tradition of every single aspect of my miserable life being a giant pile of painful bloody shit! Some people were just born to test the boundaries of suffering.

I haven’t slept more than 2 hours in a day in over 3 months, I hope if I close my eyes tonight… they do not open. At least I’ll be feeling better, and that’s all I give a shit about.

Happy fucking new year.

Last updated January 01, 2019