Metasomething in Current Events

There is this woman on YouTube who shared her story and I fell in love with her life. I think it spoke to me because it is everything that I secretly desire for myself. I also realized a while ago that I have been feeling like I am missing something special in my life and that special something is a life partner. I just don’t know where to look in my city. “I am looking for a healthy relationship. I want to build a life with somebody.” Says nobody on Grindr. The last therapist I saw told me that most gay men aren’t capable of healthy relationships because all their relationships turn into the same ones they had with their fathers growing up. He explained that we need to have better relationships with ourselves first because we’re all broken children trying to love each other.
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Of course everybody I’ve spoken to about that comment got deeply offended. I believe that there is some truth in something if it offends you. I mean, nobody wants to hear that somebody thinks that they are “broken”. I was hung up on Tyler at that time and that therapist explained to me that I get hooked on to the fantasy. I didn’t want Tyler, I wanted the fantasy of being with somebody or whatever. I got it in my mind how the relationship was going to be and that is what I was hung up on. My feelings weren’t even about wanting Tyler at all. At the end of the session, he said that I had a strong metasomething ability to completely flip my thinking and he was confident that I would snap out of it and “be okay”. I could never get that therapy man to call me back but he was right. I had a nervous breakdown three weeks later but me, myself and I went in a completely different direction in my life.
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So here I am in my thirties, single and wanting to build an awesome life for myself. I want adventure and fun. I want somebody there with me. I don’t want drama, stress and upsets. I want love, support and growth. Am I even ready for that? I don’t know. I am ready to launch myself and my life at least. Maybe I will find somebody along the way.