Wrong Vibes in Current Events

My mini-meltdown in my previous entry was a bad idea. I cannot give that kind of energy any breathing room. I just need to sleep better. I can’t cope with anything when I am tired. I whine about this every entry and I just need to get my shit together already goddammit. I had a lot that I wanted to do today and I tried to push myself to do it all but I got pretty defeated pretty damn early. I forced myself to work out my legs and I barely lasted an hour before I realized how irrevocably exhausted I was. I had nothing left in me after that. I feel so defeated. I laid in bed all fucking day. My body does not nap anymore so I just laid there for hours and hours. No tv, no nothing. I want to cry, I can’t cope with how tired I am anymore. Nothing on my to-do list was accomplished today so I am just wallowing in self-pity now and that’s on me. I created tension between my sister and I today because I have it in my mind that this is all her fault. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon because I wake up with her 3-year-old every morning so that she can have a full-time job. That daycare is closed next week and my brother in law is off for the next 3 weeks so I do get a proper break from that all soon. I’m already feeling very crowded, however. I just need to stop being a spoiled whiny bitch already. I can’t stand myself anymore.