I don't do revenge in Musings

I woke up and felt like something was missing… like that weird phenomenon, you have something on the tip of your tongue but you can’t exactly say it....
I took the train and transferred, I was playing some Candy Crush game on my phone and someone comes over to me and says “happy 18th anniversary Andy” I look up and it clicked in my soul....
I lacked remembering that I met Sean 18 years ago on this day.
“OH my GOD!” I said as I realized what was missing from my day.
“I didn’t even remember!!!” I squealed and hugged Sean.
“Wait you don’t remember?” Sean said
“I did but I didn’t” I said hugging him and he clearly felt butthurt.
“Well…”he said holding my hand and pulling me into him…”you have always been beautiful, I mean look at you!” He said grazing his hands on my clothing “In 2 years, it’s gonna be 20 years we’ve known each other” he said holding me into his chest.

I never needed revenge on Sean. I forgot our anniversary, because it’s not a factor in my life. And I could see his heart crumble, because I didn’t know it was our anniversary. I mean I guess I kind of did, but it’s so far in my memory that I really didn’t. He doesn’t affect me, he doesn’t hurt me—but I’m still relevant in his life.

THAT IS MY FUCKING REVENGE. I don’t remember you, you don’t affect me or my life anymore… but I still affect you…this is why your hugging me, twirling me and making me seem like I still have a connection with you.

I’m not going to sit here and lie that when I saw him, I didn’t felt butterflies in my stomach because I still love him… it’s just that I’m not inlove and I’ve learned to live without him… it’s like looking at an old statue or the ruins in Rome—I appreciate it, I love it, but I never want to go back and recreate it…