"THE BEST FRIENDS" in "THE WORDPLAY WARRIOR: The Plot Pieces Called 'Life' "

What makes one a best friend? The answers may vary. What I believe with what you do can be (and are) different.

Some people believe that best friends always stick together, through thick and thin. You know, just like in movies. Of course, that arrangement only sounds awesome if you’re the main character. People will always be there for you, leaving whatever it is they’re doing at the moment. Imagine a pack of loyal, obedient dogs on a regular basis – hanging on your every word.

In reality? Come on, don’t be so self-centred. It’s not always about you. They have their lives and things to do too. When they can, they’ll be there for you. When they can’t, try not to take it personally. Perhaps they’re busy at the moment.

Some people believe that best friends mean agreeing (and disagreeing) to almost the same things. Sharing the same ideals and goals, perspectives, and even the list of who’s supposed to be your friends and enemies…

If you have different ideas that might upset them, you will know. They may say it’s okay, but you can always tell the difference. The air around you just…changes.

If you’re a real best friend, you don’t always have to agree or disagree on the same things all the time. If you still talk and are civil or cool with each other despite your different views, then you are. I’m not saying that you should let your friends make mistakes and stop caring about them when they do. You can only remind them to be careful with their choices.

In the end, it’s all up to them. You’re all grown-ups. Act and treat each other that way.

Busy at the moment? No need to fret. After all, each of you have your own lives to lead and live. This is reality. Things happen. Schedules clash. Appointments get cancelled…sometimes at the very last minute. Plans become nothing more than…unrealised plans.

What are you going to do? Sure, you miss hanging out with each other. You used to have more time for one another. Of course, priorities change after a while. Perhaps when all of you were still single and living / working nearby, regular meetups were still possible. Just make an appointment or play it by ear before making it happen.

Maybe your married friends have sick kids at home or they can’t find a temporary babysitter. Perhaps your single friends are currently busy with their new jobs or new, blooming love life. The truth is, you’re not always the first on their minds and vice versa.

Here’s what you can choose. You can either sulk or suck it up. No, seriously. You’ve got to really grow up and deal with it.

When there’s a chance, no matter how rare – you’ll meet again. Take some time with yourself and people around you. Give your friends their deserving space.

Best friends forgive and forget? Hmm, not exactly. Best friends forgive, but also accept the fact that what is done is done. We all make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. We apologise and forgive. Learn from it.

Last but not least, your best friend should also help you to grow better as a person. It does not matter that you grow together or separately. You may not talk every day like you used to. Each of you gets this: everybody’s busy. Things change.

This is reality, life as it is.

However, whenever you have a chance to talk – or even meet up – it always feels like good old times. You simply pick up where you’ve left off. It’s going to feel like you’ve only been a way just a while.

If you find friends with these traits, then be gratefu. You’re one of the lucky ones in the world, especially in this day and age…

R.