"DON'T LET ME LOSE" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

I know I haven’t
been that kind
not with tons on my mind
I’m still back on my feet
feeble but keeping up
with these erratic beats

I’ve been fighting so hard
I’ve let them all break my heart
It’s always been my stupid expectations
yet I still need to carry on

Don’t let me lose
not when I still want to choose
this freedom I’ve fought for
Don’t let me be locked again,
behind the same old door
restrained in the same old room
with their demands,
their expectations,
and disappointments

I didn’t choose to be used
I’m fed up with these blues
My fiery rage is not helping
because all I want
is my enemies’ suffering

Forgiveness feels so distant
Is that version of me close to being gone?
I refuse to go back home
a loser with a whole in her soul

Don’t let me lose
No, not on this one
I love my personal space
where no one can get too close
just to put me in my disgrace

Please, let this be my safe place…

R.