"SEEKING TEMPORARY SANCTUARY" in "THE WORDPLAY WARRIOR: The Plot Pieces Called 'Life' "

Sometimes you feel like you don’t really belong here (wherever ‘here’ is.) You long for a place to be, where you feel accepted. Where you can be you without (at least too much) judgment.

So you decide to go elsewhere. There, you can escape for a while. Forget who you are and leave everything else behind you. Ditch your issues, pause the drama.

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, it’s also the place where some people you also know and love live. It’s the people who love you for you, no matter what.

Still, you hesitate. You long to stay close to them, yet you’re also afraid. What if they get tired of you too, if you stay longer than you (think you) should?

However, you don’t dare wonder about that out loud. What if it’s true? What if they laugh at you instead, saying how silly you can be?

“Of course, we love you. We love having you here. Always.”

Even so, how long will it last? How can you be pleasant to them all the time, when you know that all of you are only human? You get tired too sometimes.

On the other hand, you also fear hurting them with your dark side. You know what you’re capable of. Your rage can be like fire that burns all to the ground.

Until everything becomes ashes.

So you isolate yourself. Being alone is safe. You don’t have to hurt them or anybody else.

But it’s empty. Hollow.

That’s why you do what you have to. Travel around from time to time, never really staying. The idea of settling down still makes you feel claustrophobic.

You choose to stay in-between. Settle with solitude. Once in a while, show your face to people.

Until when? Only God knows.

R.