nervous. and um the reason i said yes. blood test results. in 2018

so. like i said the test results come back........fri. they’ll be online apparently. either that or mailed. well part of the reason i agreed, to all the blood tests they did. 7 tubes [which btw i was ok afterwards. which actually kindof amazes me] anyway. The reason i agreed to it. um..........was bc. when i meet new people. i’ll do as much as possible depending to please them. yeah see that’s why i wanted to wait. instead of doing something but not wanting to do it for me but for them. yeah no. like well fuk.
they tested my vitamin levels, [probably low on vit. d. yeah. i know. since i have depression and don’t drink milk and apparently. it’s really hard to get it through like food] and vit. c, the b ones. she wanted to see if i have anemia. yeah. i probably do even though. i’ve never been tested for it. i’m not too worried about the diagnosis of it if she does in fact diagnose me w/ it. it’s just. well now it’ll be official. that’s a small reason i’m always cold. [also although i’m a small lady i’ve gained a few lbs. since i last noted it which was last wk.]. that’s a reason that at times i get winded easily. it’s more the officiality of it if that’s even a thing. of it being official. that’s a reason i eat pb so much. is cause it helps. it’s a reason. that at times when i’m out walking i have to stop a few times.
The blood tests well test. my liver and kidneys. and those are big things. although. i drank uh. wed. morning [and by that i mean like. 2 a.m.] and not again untill fri. night. er i think it was fri. night. so it should’ve cleared my system by then. i don’t smoke. pot or cigs. this is exactly why when i asked for a blood test from megan like a little over 3 yrs. ago the only thing i wanted to know was my blood type. and apparently. it seems like that and this other personal thing. is the only thing she tested for. if it’s not official. then i’m the only one who knows about it. it’s the publicity of it i guess in a way. although my liver and kidneys might be fine. she was testing an overall blood count. sorry and by ‘she’ i mean dr. earp/shannon.
and apparently. a way they diagnose diseases is. through a blood test. well yeah. i already know i have one. [uh oh.]. the tooth thing. the um. cervical resorption thing. which were found through an x ray.
this is exactly a reason why, other then annually, i don’t go to the dr.’s. cause if i had a cold. and i looked up the symptoms of it and they matched. then i’d know. yeah i have a cold. like there’d be no point to me going to the dr. sorry but that would kindof seem like a waste of time.
um. but so. in the notes to dr. earp. and i’ve also put this in the notes to my mom. and emailed both sets of notes to her. in the notes i put that right now. i don’t want to take vit./supplements. and i don’t want a bone scan. and. i don’t want to see a nutritionist. so. it’s not that the dr./assistant [shannon btw] pushed me into it. no i, pushed me into it. er myself i mean i pushed myself into it. into having all those blood tests.
i’m ‘always’ worried. that when it comes to things like this the person will push me into doing something i don’t want to. Right which is exactly why. i emailed those notes to my mom earlier this morning. currently 3:40 a.m. if that does happen. also it’s right there in documentation. written. and here too.
i signed some kindof form while there......um. oh it was a form saying they had consent, to treat me. ok so it was a consent form. for treatment. i gave verbal consent to the dr. to do the, joint test. [i actually didn’t have a problem w/ that. it was, interesting i don’t think i’ve ever had it done before.]. and to shannon. i also gave verbal consent to my mom to look the results up online.
but if it does come up. no they don’t have consent to relase anything they find out. to any other dr. if i recall. correctly. and by that i mean megan/mary.
um. oh right so a little over 3 yrs. ago megan tested me for HIV/AIDS. [which btw i don’t have. thank god.]. but she came back w/ the results in like 2 - 5 mins. so it didn’t take a seemingly bloody eternity for the results to come back. like cmon. if i have what i think i have. i won’t like it. but at least if the results came back faster [not that that’s really. like my decision or anything] i’d know.
oh but i did. sign a release form at dr. nick’s at some point recently. to release any info they had on me. to dr. earp.
Right so i’m thinking. at some point i’m not sure when. probably when this whole big toogh. tooth. infection problem thing. is over. of having dr. earp be my dr. one of the main reasons being her office isn’t in a hospital. and i don’t like, hospitals. not cause anything happened. a lot of people don’t like them. so every time i had an appt. there. i was nervous partially simply. bc i was in a hospital. idinno though.......i like that megan/mary know almost nothing about my medical history. other then that i have depression. see they don’t know any of this. which i’m really ok w/. other then the blood test for the blood type. w/ them the only other reason i went was annually. so........yeah. last wk. it all felt so rushed. that i’m not quite sure about having dr. earp as my official dr.

so this is all just. really for me to remember.