NJM 15 in NoJoMo 2018

1:14 am

I was a bit hyper today… wait, yesterday. Wednesday. It’s now 1:15 Thursday morning. I’m tired, I hurt, but my brain hasn’t shut up. And after what I did, it really won’t shut up.

I made the mistake of reading past entries. That’s never a good idea. All the horrible things I’ve done. And I don’t know if people still think that I’m doing the same shit as I did a couple of years ago. If they still think I’m using people, that I’m lazy, that everyone would be better without me. They would be happier with me gone.

So now I’m hurting both physically, and mentally. My own fault, though. ::sigh::

lol how funny. I start writing and I finally get tired. I’m going to try to sleep. I’ll be back.

12:41 pm

Got a few hours of sleep. I was going to sleep late late, but got up around 7:30 because I couldn’t get comfortable again after Pam got Skittles to let them out.

We got a good deal of snow overnight. I would say 7-8 inches? Maybe more. I don’t have a ruler. Holy Roller canceled for today last night. Which was fine with me. The gravel roads are always the last to be cleared, and even though I have 4WD, I could still end up in a ditch. I doubt it, but why take a chance?

I’m actually trying to straighten things up today. I have the kitchen area done, but then the fatigue hit. Now, if I was working, I would keep working. Power through it until it goes away (It usually does), but it’s so easy to say “I’m going to take a coffee break”, sit down at the computer, and not move for more than an hour. I need to become my own client or something.

I hurt my back working yesterday. Well, I wasn’t like, lifting something or anything like that. I was dusting and moved wrong. Stupid back.

And my damn “frayed” tendon issue has cropped back up big time. I’m hoping that the trigger point injections calm it down. They might be pulling on it or something.

Alright. I better get off my ass and do something else. I will finish the entry later.

6:02 pm

I’m not doing today’s prompt about winning an award. I have no clue why I would win one, so I don’t know what I would say in an acceptance speech.

I am so damn tired. I get so frustrated with the fatigue. To have little or no energy is depressing, and it makes you feel lazy. I mean, it makes me feel like I’m being lazy. But sometimes you have to rest, which I have not really done today. I could have taken a nap earlier, but my friend hopped online so we were talking. Chatting. Whatever. Because of my work schedule I rarely talk to anyone but Pam these days. Plus it seems that everyone sends me a message when I’m cleaning a bathroom lol It’s like when you’re waiting for a call, but need to take a shower so you hop in the shower, then the phone rings.

My Dr appointment for today was rescheduled for tomorrow. Feh. That office is full of weather wimps I guess. The roads were fine this afternoon, and MoDot worked all night on them. Perfectly drivable.

I sent K at the Alpenhorn to see if I could come at 11 instead of 10. My appt is at 3:30. I didn’t want to drive all the way home only to drive back to town in a hour and a half. This way I only have to wait a half hour. I’ll be at Stompin’ Grounds having an espresso. Hmm. Wonder what the weather is going to do tomorrow. I might park at the coffee shop and walk to her office a block or so away. … well, so far it says sunny and 48 degrees at 3 pm. I hope they’re right. I could use the fresh air.

See ya.