This last few days in Second 1st

It’s been an odd week. I’ve not been well… just … I don’t know.... the usual....

Had an appointment with a lady at Sam’s Club hearing center. The had put me in for a hearing test but I told her I just wanted to talk about hearing aids … I made an appointment because they always seem to be busy. The one I would want has internal blue tooth. So no extra necklace with relay device. THAT’s the one I’m GOING to get..... if doc says I still need one. I haven’t noticed a difference so I’m going to say yes. The lady said she has one and she doesn’t even need it. She listens to music on it and phone calls when she’s around the house. lol. That’s what I’m talkin bout. Price? right at $2000 but it won’t matter much if it’s covered by insurance.

Went to a regular doc yesterday. First to establish care. I don’t General Care doc.... so.... I had cried to the ENT once about being exhausted. Asking for sleeping meds and she said she couldn’t help with that (she really did though by restricting my work hours) so I figured it was time. Basically we went over Meniere’s and the meds I was taking. Talked briefly over what we had done with the ENT. I aslo wanted talk to him briefly about signs of depression and anxiety. With Meniere’s people generally have one of the other.... if not both because of the facts that you don’t know when you are going to get real bad dizzy.... and because once you are you are useless… because I have this constant motion sickness more days than not I feel useless. I do things because they need to be done not because I want to do them. I get less joy out of Diamond painting than I use to.... and the music therapy I’ve been working on to combat the anger I have isn’t working as well as it used to..... It’s just a concern. More days than not I feel worthless. More days than not I feel like a burden and a bit of a loser. I do not wish to harm myself but eating salty things is a bit self destructive and I’ve had my moments where I’m weak. Doc said keep an eye out. If it lasts more than 2 weeks (in one go) than we will talk more about it. .... I’ll be okay because generally in 2 weeks I have at least 2-3 good days and on those days I don’t feel so bad. I’m extremely productive and all is well.

Found a great yummy granola only 55 mg sodium. The stuff I make is better but it lasts less time before it gets stale. it’s good to have a lower sodium option. I usually have grits and an egg for breakfast (about 400mg) so this is much better on the budget.

Rocky showed me his schedule for the next 2 weeks. He’s working days! 5am to 2. Thanksgiving he’s off at noon! He’s working one night shift in there (after 2 days off) but it does look like he’s going to days. This after at least 16 years working night shift. I know it’s going to be rough for him. I’m going to do my best to not get irritated when he wants to go to bed at 5… after all he’s wanting to get up at 3:30. This is going to blow this weekend because i don’t get up till 4.... I’ll probably end up getting up when he does because I’ll be scared I’ll miss my alarm. I’ve also told him he’s dead if he does that whole 18 alarms thing he does during the day. ONE at 3:30. I’ll have one at 4 and at that point he should start his panic.

i’m super excited because I’m going to try to start sleeping in Mondays and Tuesdays at least. No more day time alarms means I can start getting the random mental one out of my head. (I think I hear it sometimes and he’s not even here!)