Return in Current Events

I return to work today. The headspace was nice. I got to think for myself for a whole week. I updated my resume yesterday morning. I redid the entire thing and i feel so confident about it. I’m going to try and take that business workshop, if I can talk my boss into paying for it. I have a little bit of anxiety about when I walk in today. I will be bombarded with how awful everything was when I was gone. The staff will demonize my boss and try and play me against him. The regional manager and my bosses boss were trying to catch me at work before I went on my holiday. I still do not know what they want. I still need to talk to my boss and let him know that I aiming to apply for a seasonal job in retail. I’m not growing as a manager under him and I want to start branching out. Try new things.
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I haven’t been dreaming too much since I quit my medication a few years ago. Since I started minoxidil I have been dreaming again. Last night started as the usual, I was getting ready to go to school but was making up ever reason to procrastinate. I, of course, did not know which class I was suppose to go to. I couldn’t remember what my locker combo was. I felt too old to be going to high school. Things then got weird, you know when you fix yourself up in the mirror and then leave with that image of what you look like in your head? Well I looked in the mirror and only saw what my mind sees when I am self hating. I looked old, half bald and frail thin. I looked like all the homeless First Nations people in my city. I felt so awful about myself and didn’t want to leave the house. Then I was convinced that I was being stocked and I left the house and just kept watching my back. Then I woke up. Weird right?

Last updated November 12, 2018