An interesting 24 in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

Written on my phone:

Saturday involved getting my car back from the shop (finally!) and it is weird driving low to the ground again.

Then Couple’s Counseling which was pointless. Wife is so scattered due to the move that we couldn’t approach any serious topics… and I really want to approach serious topics, obviously!!!!

Then drove to my parents house. I started feeling weird. Like headache, super stiff, body vibrating… tried to eat dinner as Mom made my favorite meal… threw it up. That is when I knew.... the whole thing was down to Body Pain. Between the moving and the record low temperature....my body had reached the absolute limit of pain it could tolerate.... beyond. So I threw up and realized what it was. Then took a 45 minute soaking bath to help… Then instantly went to bed. Wife wasn’t happy with the snoring, woke me up a few times… and she complained about my breath (for obvious reasons). In my sleep, I had a rather telling dream. In it, a college aged girl was sending DEFINITE signals that she was seriously physically interested in me. When I appeared to be receptive but ethically conflicted (due to being married) she brought her equally receptive friend out and encouraged me to meet them later that night. I seriously wanted to. I spent the rest of the dream trying to quietly sneak away to go to them.

Woke up… slept under 9 blankets and slept for 11 hours… seriously helped my pain. But the dream stays with me. It is getting to be months since Wife and I were intimate and if we aren’t talking about it in therapy, I’m not exactly confident that I will find a happy place on any of it any time soon.