I keep lying we are fine! in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

When i saw Talan in the parking lot after work i thought he was being a good husband picking me up. He informed me i am buying him groceries. I almost cried in front of my boss Josh when i admitted i had $28 to my name till payday. Talan went on how we must have chili for dinner. I gave up let Talan have his way. I now have $16. :(

He bought hamburger, chili out of a can tomatoes and peppers. He swore we had enough to eat for days on. I went to sleep because he swore he cook it later. I woke up to him cussing. He tried to drain the meat accidentally dumped most down the sink. He was very upset. I walked up gave him a hug telling him its ok i went to bedroom checked i had $17 till friday still have to pay his gas and cried in silence. He doesnt have to know how defeated i feel.

My 25 cent raise doesnt kick in until Saturday. My next paycheck comes friday. I hope i made enough to get by. I was married October 6th i been crying off and on since we got married because financial hardships. If i had the money to run away from this life leave it far behind i would.

I write in this diary because here i tell myself the truth when i lie to comfort everyone else.. My favorite lie is we are fine everything is fine. I am happy! Honestly the paycheck on friday cant come soon enough! So many bills need paid.

I want my damn truck the mechanic still has it from October 20th. My husband doesnt have gas to take me out. If i dont walk i am trap in the house. He hasnt took me on a date in months. I need this life to get better! I need my truck. Come on hope give me something!