Trying to process in General musings

I have actually been keeping my "paper" diary for the first time in over five years. Have kept up a bit more there. F and I haven't "spoken" other than in daily emails. I finally accused him of having been replaced by an alien. So he has been riffing to me, "Ok you found out.... so does it matter that i am an alien clone?"

And of course, my first impulse was to respond, no, it could be an improvement, but I didn't think we needed to get to that phase again with each other. So, instead, I answered him, 'not sure...I was kinda attached to the non-clone version...' to which he replied, "The non-clone version was an asshole" then, "Do u want the old version back?" 'No, I don't think so...' Then, this morning, "Ok old F is back..... wait for it.... ok he is gone again. Clone time!" So I answered him tonight, just saying that we haven't actually spoken in days. Hopefully he will call tomorrow. I really would like to see him on Wednesday when he is off work, but I don't know where that would lead and I can't really make myself that vulnerable just yet....