it's been 3 yrs. in 2018

well. it’s been 3 yrs. since my paternal grandmother left us. died. idinno like. i don’t really miss her. she was difficult to get along w/ she drank a lot. [ok so she was an alcoholic. that’s not what she died from btw.]. and i, bore the brunt of that, in some ways. [that makes it sound worse then it actually was.]. my sister however didn’t. no. she was up in new york in college when. i was 23 24 and she was 21 my sister. you know during that time. i was in denver visiting my grandmother each wk. and then. ya know i just. couldn’t. so. my sister has good memories of her and she’s lucky. we’ve never talked about that. and i don’t really want to. w/ her. or i guess in general right now.
um idinno i just. felt it should be commemorated, in some way. so i drank. more then usual today and believe me the irony’s not lost on me. no one has to say anything really. unless they feel bad that. um that toward the end we didn’t get along well. but i’m not looking for ‘i’m sorry’. any other words of sympathy are. ok and accepted and maybe even welcome.
i don’t talk about it a whole lot. yeah she was difficult to get along w/ [my grandmother that is] and yeah that sucks. and yeah.........i don’t know. i don’t talk about it much and maybe i’m not ready to right now. and maybe that’s ok.
idinno.
well.