crappy stuff in Second 1st

Last week Rocky got an earful. He was sick.... I had been sick the whole week before.... still getting up too early.... still doing most of the dishes and the laundry..... it was 11 when I went in to remind him that he wanted to take all the bedding to the laundry mat… but did we? nope. I tried to get him up when he told me he was sick.... made a few noises and went back to sleep… I said “yeah, not worth it” and I left the room. I let my mind roll it around for the rest of the time he slept. That was a thing until the snowball in my brain was so big I could not contain it anymore. I went in to wake him up at 2.... 2 pm .... he had gotten like 12 hour of sleep.... and it would have been more had he gone to bed early like I had suggested when he told me he thought he was getting sick. I told him he needed to get his ass up because even though we weren’t going to do laundry I hadn’t eaten and that I was not going alone to buy ice cream I wouldn’t even eat. (his fave kind was on sale at Publix) i spent the whole way there talking to him .... about how he can’t get up unless I get him up. How his life must be horrible. How the night before when I went to bed.... after having gone to see Venom .... he had kissed me in a dark hallway. All the lights had been turned off.... how I thought he was going to come to bed.... and he didn’t .... Going to bed feeling unwanted.... waking up to be alone more than half the day.... I was not a happy camper. What did he say about all of it when I asked … .. the same thing he always does.... NOTHING. I said nothing the whole way back...... sigh so as much as I wanted to come in here and fuss over it.... it’s the same it’s always been.... I’m sure you guys read it enough.

I found out this weekend that one of the biggest mouths in my department thinks I’m faking Meniere’s .... yes because I wanted painful steroid shots in my ear that even after insurance will cost me 1900 bucks.... because I want to seriously never eat bacon again.... or convenience foods in general. I don’t really care I just don’t understand why she cares enough to talk about it..... She said I’m lazy..... well when I still get everything I need to done I don’t guess I care. I survive most days. I talked to Jerry in my last one on one about how I felt like my work quality has fallen.... he said he hadn’t noticed… but I just survive.... that’s what chronically sick people do when they are sick.... each day is a chore.... I… I don’t have to like her now or the girl that told me.... cause it’s not like I needed to know that....... it’s an invisible disease it’s not like I didn’t expect this to happen. Don’t worry though… I just got FMLA so I didn’t have to work overtime. Cause I’m just that lazy and worthless. I’d say I wish she got something no one could see.... but I’m not like that. … not really.

Sammy got fired. ERRRR, he quit.... and he didn’t get the position at Olive Garden. I now expect him to be constantly asking to borrow money.... until he gets back to work. Rocky and I had a quick talk about that.... if he starts asking I’m supposed to tell him he can only go to school or to put in applications until he gets another job.... Thing about that is.... it’s not like we would ever know. He’s an adult.... he’s lucky he has us.... otherwise he’d starve....

Mom called and asked about Thanksgiving.... I still want to do it this year. I don’t know how it will go.... I’m trying to figure out how to make some of our traditional foods with as little sodium as possible without having to hear Scott (brother) complain that it sucks. I’ll be sure to have plenty of salt on hand.